Woodbine

Summary

A family torn apart by past hurts. A search for an estranged mother. A mothman standing in your office, staring at your lamp. Bea still struggles with her new diet, Rhys finds out there’s more to the job than paperwork, and Grace begins to regret the gaps in the agency’s onboarding procedures.

Content Warnings: Blood (mentioned)

Transcript

[SFX: Rhys is walking to work]

RHYS_NARR: This place is weird. Like, Toronto is weird in general: it’s constantly shifting and moving and nothing feels like it’s allowed to last. You find a little place you love – a restaurant, a café, a store, an apartment – and then it’s wrenched away from you before you can even make sense of the impending loss. You can never sit still. The city will not wait for you. But it’s weird in other ways too. I wasn’t born here. I didn’t grow up here. Maybe this all feels normal if you did, but for me… it’s hard to describe. During the day, it feels fine, it’s just a city filled with people living their own lives, moving and shaking and cussing and annoyed that you’re in their way. But at night… the city changes. It’s not malicious, it’s not Gotham or anything, but something… oozes out of its pores. The city sweats. Shadows are too long. Everyone is both too close to you and an unknowable shape in the distance. Sometimes, I feel like the people on the street with me don’t have the right number of limbs. Too many, if you know what I mean.

But work is fine. It’s normal. I can be normal here even if I am mostly working nights now. I’ve been here a couple of weeks and it’s mostly just been joining either Bea or Grace on small outings, filing, paperwork, more filing, note taking, whatever. I’m coming in a bit early tonight, but that should be fine. [SFX: he enters the office and closes the door] I must be early, because there doesn’t appear to be anyone in yet. It’s fine, Grace gave me a key, but clearly I’m the only one who’s worried about punctuality.

RHYS: Bea? Grace? You around? … Alright, guess not. Lights are off, should’ve known. [SFX: walks over to a light and flicks it on] Who took the shade off the lamp?

MOTHMAN: [a clicking, chittering noise] 

RHYS: AHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK [SFX: he tries to get away but trips over the lamp. He tries to push himself backwards on the floor to get away from the figure, who is unmoving]

GRACE: [SFX: comes storming in through the back door] Shit, Rhys! Rhys, it’s fine! 

RHYS: GRACE THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE ROOM, RUN! 

GRACE: It’s fine! Rhys, it’s ok! They’re… they’re not a threat! 

MOTHMAN: [SFX: annoyed clicking]

RHYS: The hell you mean things are fine?! What is THAT?

MOTHMAN: [even more irritated chittering sounds]

GRACE: That’s… that’s our client. Shit, I… did not want you to find out about this, or at least not this way. 

RHYS: HOW IS THAT OUR CLIENT? 

GRACE: I did not want you to find out about this. Or at least not this way. You weren’t supposed to be here yet. 

MOTHMAN: [quizzical chittering]

GRACE: [to Mothman] He’s not. He’s just a guy.

MOTHMAN: [well fine then]

RHYS: Just a guy?! He’s-

GRACE: Not him! You! I’m reassuring him!

MOTHMAN: [irritated chittering]

RHYS: Oh, yeah, because THAT’S the… thing-

GRACE: Shh!

MOTHMAN: [chittering angrily]

RHYS: Sorry, just what the fuck am I supposed to say?!

GRACE: Show some respect! I’ll explain later. And put the lamp down!

RHYS: Fine, fine. [SFX: brandishes it one more time and then drops it]

RHYS_NARR: There’s a figure that looms over me and casts a shadow across the room that sinks into every crack in the hardwood, cast by a thing clad in a tucked-in plaid shirt and cargo shorts. I actually hadn’t processed the outfit yet. Somehow, that’s the thing I can’t get past. Grace is so calm.

GRACE: What did you want to talk about, Charlie?

RHYS_NARRATION: Why the fuck is Grace so calm?

RHYS: His name is Charlie?

MOTHMAN: [yes my name is Charlie, you dope]

RHYS: Sorry. Just didn’t expect that. Expected something more… moth-y. 

GRACE: I mean if you want to try to speak moth, be my guest. 

RHYS: [pause] I’m good. 

GRACE: Charlie, I’m sorry, he’s new and we haven’t really had the chance to… acclimatize him to things. 

MOTHMAN: [that’s fine, I get it. Just don’t do it again!]

GRACE: Noted. 

RHYS: What did he say?

GRACE: To not do that again.

RHYS: Right.

GRACE: Charlie, tell me what’s going on, and do you mind if I translate for Rhys here? 

MOTHMAN: [sure, whatever] – he starts clicking away explaining what’s going while Grace translates overtop.

GRACE: Charlie’s been estranged from his family for quite a long time… things have been… tense. Tense? Yeah, tense. Years ago he left because his… parents… They were putting a lot of pressure on him to go to medical school. 

RHYS: Medical school.

GRACE: It shouldn’t surprise you that other communities require doctors as well.

RHYS: I guess I just never thought about it.

GRACE: Believe me, there’s going to be a lot of preconceptions that you’re going to need to let go of if you want to keep working here. 

RHYS: Yeah. I’ve gathered. 

GRACE: Continue. [SFX: Mothman keeps clicking away] Anyway, he left and cut them out of his life. Wanted to go and do his own thing. But… he’s been regretting it as of late. He misses them. He’s doing well and wants to share that with them.

RHYS: Aww. That’s actually kind of sweet.

GRACE: Yeah. He wants us to track his parents down. 

RHYS: No forwarding address or number?

GRACE: [SFX: mothman clicks away in the background] They’ve moved. Phone numbers have changed. He doesn’t know where to start. So that’s why we’re here. He’s giving me a little more info on what to look for. I’ll write it down and you can go over it, ok? I know this is throwing you into the thick of it, but if you could maybe start looking for resources and doing a little digging, that would be super helpful.

RHYS_NARR: I look up into the being’s eyes and my vision goes blank. I am enveloped in a red light that makes my skin feel like it is about to vapourize off my body. I look away and my vision comes back but it’s blurry and filled with static. His form, the edges blur. What I do see are their hands though. They are spindly and long, covered in fine hairs that look soft and also like they would immediately burrow under your skin like fine splinters. And they’re holding a picture. A picture of… another moth person. I assume their mother. It’s a Sears portrait. In the image, I can finally get a somewhat ok look at her. The eyes glow a sickly red. The mouth smiles to reveal an uncountable amount of fine, needle-like teeth. And she has just so, so much blue eyeshadow on. 

RHYS: Uh, sure. I’ll… try.

GRACE: Thanks. I mean, you did say in your interview that you’re drawn to the unusual. 

RHYS: Like a moth to a flame.

MOTHMAN: [how dare you]

RHYS: Sorry. Figure of speech.

 

[SFX: We transition to footsteps as Grace and Bea walk through a quiet mall hallway]

BEA: I’m still shocked there’s a vampire bar at the Dufferin Mall.

GRACE: I’m not, even the undead need places with cheaper rent.

BEA: Makes sense. You want to go to the Cinnabon after this? 

GRACE: Maybe.

BEA: [SFX: you can hear some quiet music playing in the background] I’m guessing we’re going to wherever is playing the… 

GRACE: What, did you think that vampires only enjoyed classical? 

BEA: Well, clearly I have more to learn. {SFX: they go in and the door shuts behind them]

BARTENDER: Grace, how’s it been? 

GRACE: Hello Tracy, not bad. Yourself?

BARTENDER: Usual. Who’re you with tonight? Serving or guest? 

GRACE: Guest. 

BARTENDER: Huh. Don’t get a lot of new faces around here. Well, welcome… 

BEA: Bea.

BARTENDER: Bea. You new to Toronto?

BEA: I’m new to this area.

BARTENDER: Want me to give her the rundown?

GRACE: That’s fine, I’ll do it. 

BARTENDER: [shouting at someone else] Hey, if you bleed on that couch, you’re paying to get it cleaned! 

GRACE: We’ll leave you to deal with that. [to Bea] Shall we grab a seat?

BEA: … a clean one, preferably. [SFX: they walk away and head to a small, cozy loveseat] Serving or guest? 

GRACE: I wanted to give you more… options… for eating.

BEA: I’m sorry if the concept of cracking open a cold boy isn’t my favourite part of this whole… thing.

GRACE: I know this is hard, but I believe you’ve come to understand that hunger… is easier to manage when you’re satiated. If you starve yourself, it will be much worse than if you just treat yourself with care. 

BEA: Can’t I just live off whatever is in your fridge?

GRACE: You can, but it’s expensive and highly perishable. 

BEA: Goddamnit.

GRACE: I would never deny you food. But beyond that, there are… benefits to going straight to the source. It can be better than relying on whatever is on hand for emergencies.

BEA: It’s still weird.

GRACE: It might be less weird if you stopped putting garnishes in the blood. Or soy sauce. Or fish sauce, what’s with that?

BEA: I’m trying things! I’m experimenting! I’m seeing what feels right!

GRACE: It’s… you know what, never mind. 

BEA: I know, I know, I’m getting used to this. I just don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want to have to… hunt. 

GRACE: Darling, you don’t have to chase around lamplighters in darkened alleyways. You can shop online for blood now. There’s a delivery service in the GTA for all your alternative feeding-related needs. It’s pricey, but it’s doable.

BEA: What, you got OgreEats?

GRACE: Good one. 

BEA: Thanks, my other idea was an app called “Suck the Dishes” but I didn’t think it worked as well.  

GRACE: It’s got legs.  

BEA: And teeth. [SFX: there’s a soft moan in the background] This feels… weird. These people are here as meals? 

GRACE: I assure you, it’s all consensual here. 

BEA: That’s nice. Still weird.

GRACE: You noticed that touch felt different earlier. 

BEA: Mmmhmm.

GRACE: This is true for anyone being fed on as well.

BEA: Yeah, that explains a few things.

GRACE: Plus, nice way to make some extra cash. 

BEA: So, is it like… a sex thing?

GRACE: Maybe for some, but for most it’s just… a pleasant frisson. Full body ASMR without having to watch those videos where people manipulate slime and whisper into the mic.

BEA: Right. I mean, I’d probably sell my blood too if I needed the money and…

GRACE: Pleasure?

BEA: Probably just the cash.

GRACE: It’s been a long day, let me treat you to a little someone.

BEA: You know what? It’s fine. I think I’ll just… intermittent fast for now.

GRACE: It’s a nice place.

BEA: Yeah, it is, but this is… it’s too much right now. I can’t do this right now. 

GRACE: Alright. Let’s go home.

 

[SFX: the music of the space transitions into the office]

RHYS_NARR: So here’s what we’ve got. Mothman last saw his family in 2004. They wanted a life for him that he didn’t have any interest in, which I get. They had previously lived in Edmonton but he had found out through the grapevine that his parents moved to the GTA in the mid-2010s. He still wasn’t speaking to them so made no effort to track them down. But now… life has changed. He’s doing well. Good job. Good relationship. He wants to make amends but is afraid that he’ll never find them. After he left I asked Grace if there was any way we could just turn on a big lamp and see who shows up, and all that got me was a lecture on species sensitivity. She also told me to go talk to Bea. That she would help me get my sea legs. Whatever that means.

RHYS: So have you met other guys like him?

BEA: Like who?

RHYS: The mothman.

BEA: Like I hadn’t met him in particular before but he did bring us a very nice bottle of wine and a jar of… actually, I’m still not sure what that is. 

RHYS: What?

BEA: The jar on my desk.

RHYS_NARR: There’s a jar emanating a sickly red glow sitting on a stack of printouts. The air around it wobbles as if there is a heat haze, but the glass itself is cold. There’s a gingham ribbon tied around the top. 

BEA: I wouldn’t recommend opening it.

RHYS: Yeah… so how did you end up working here? Did you know about Grace’s… clientele before you started?

BEA: No. Like I didn’t know about the details or who the major players were in a lot of cases. I mostly handled a lot of the day to day office stuff, smaller jobs. She was putting me on most of the… “normal” cases. The jilted exes, philandering husbands, missing alimony, and so on. Those were my beat. And then recently I… learned about the true nature of things. 

RHYS: How long have you worked here?

BEA: Two years.

RHYS: Wow. 

BEA: Yeah. 

RHYS: Do you think she would’ve ever told me if I hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or the right place at the wrong time?

BEA: Maybe. It’s hard to say, it’s not something most people are going to handle in any sort of normal way. I only learned under duress as well. But I’ll say this, you’re taking it… very well. 

RHYS: Like it’s terrifying, but also it’s cool? Like how would you not find this cool? And what happened to you? Did the Phantom of the Opera miss a child support payment?

BEA: Things happen. You stumble into it, as you have already learned. Nothing big.  

RHYS_NARRATION: She’s lying, just a little. 

BEA: I’ll tell you the story another day, I’m not in the mood for it right now. But I’ll be honest, I’m also pretty babyfaced to this whole… set-up.  

RHYS_NARRATION: That one’s the truth. Maybe Grace isn’t so much asking her to show me the ropes as she is hoping we can support each other.

RHYS: So how do we go about this? Leave snacks out for the Jersey Devil? Check under the bed for monsters? 

BEA: Did Grace already give you the species sensitivity talk or should I?

RHYS: She did, I’m just having fun.

BEA: Well be careful about that, you’re an interloper as far as anyone is concerned. The deeper in you go, the more you become the freak in a world outside of ours. I guess it’s the same world, really. Just different.  

RHYS: I guess.

BEA: Even Bigfoot has to get a job these days.

RHYS: Is Bigfoot real?

BEA: Honestly, don’t know, but wouldn’t be surprised. I just would be careful about the word “monsters.”

RHYS: Ok, so what should I say?

BEA: They’re… clients. I mean, there’s more beings than I ever thought there would be, which is “more than none.” 

RHYS: Right. 

BEA: But yeah, we need to look into Mothmom. See if we can find anything about the Mothfamily, uh… we can start asking around. Can’t canvas but I’ll check with Grace to see if there’s some sort of… forum? Subreddit? Facebook group? That our clients might hang out in. And you can…

RHYS: Yeah?

BEA: Can you file these? [SFX: hands him a stack of papers]

RHYS: Alright.

 

[SFX: later in the day. Grace is walking through the office and comes up to Bea’s desk]

GRACE: Hey, would you like to join me tonight for drinks at my friend’s place? 

BEA: Uh, what kind of drinks? 

GRACE: Ones from glasses. Not from people. 

BEA: Sure?

GRACE: I’ve noticed that you haven’t been going out much.

BEA: I haven’t really been in the mood. I don’t know if I can be normal around people.

GRACE: Bea, with my friends, I don’t think you have to be. Come on, it would be good for you to interact with someone who isn’t me, Rhys, or a client. Grab your coat. Let’s go. Work day is over.  

BEA: Alright. [SFX: gets up, goes and gets her stuff, puts her coat on] So who are we hanging out with? Is it the Wolfman?

GRACE: They prefer the term werewolves. 

BEA: I was joking, but points to me for getting it right.

GRACE: Alden and Aurelius have been friends of mine for about… 50 years now. We met back in the late 70s at a disco in… it was either New York or Amsterdam, I don’t remember. I think Andy Warhol might have been there, but it also could have been a mop in a wig. I was pretty high at the time. They were young, and I was younger. We had a good time. Things were… wilder, in a sense. They were one of the first non-vampire friends I had made in a long time. It opened up a lot of new worlds for me, things I had forgotten about. Things I had tried to forget about.

BEA: Do I even broach the topic of vampire vs. werewolf media?

GRACE: They like to play up this idea that werewolves and vampires hate each other. That vampires are these regal and WASPy castle dwellers while werewolves are feral murderers. While I have met individuals on either side who fit those descriptions, they are the exception, not the rule. Besides, anyone who’s met Alden or Aurelius would not peg them for “feral”, unless your standards for feral include things like “getting very annoyed at West Elm for not having the coffee table you wanted and leaving a passive-aggressive Google review.”

BEA: Ok, and how are they when it comes to surprise guests?

GRACE: You’ll be a surprise for a lot of reasons, I suppose. 

 

[SFX: transition to a nice living room, Alden and Aurelius are quietly reading] 

AURELIUS: Do you smell something?

ALDEN: [SFX: sniffs, leans back in his chair] Yes. Tom Ford Champaca Absolute. Grace is coming up the walk.

AURELIUS: Yes, I am aware. That’s not all.

ALDEN: [SFX: sniffs again] Hmm. That’s new.

AURELIUS: Lime. Petitgrain. Cedar. Musk. 

ALDEN: Oh, our friend is bringing a visitor.

AURELIUS: They’re another vamp, mind you.

ALDEN: Well then, we’ll have to be on our best behavior. 

AURELIUS: Alden, sit, I’ll go greet our guests. [SFX: he walks over and opens the door] Grace! You’re looking lovely as always.

GRACE: The anti-aging creams are doing wonders. [to Bea] As I said, I never need to knock.

AURELIUS: If you changed perfumes more perhaps you would, but alas, you are quite predictable. I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met before.

GRACE: This is Bea. She’s a friend and coworker. 

BEA: Hello.

AURELIUS: Ah, our recent addition to the Toronto vampire scene. Forgive the wording, but there hasn’t been any new blood lately. 

BEA: If Grace has been talking about me, I’m hoping it’s been only good things. Or at least mostly good things.

AURELIUS: Nothing but. Lovely to meet you. Alden? 

ALDEN: [SFX: walking over, gives her a hug] Hello Grace, wonderful to see you. 

GRACE: You too, darling. I love the shirt.

ALDEN: Ah, this rag? Dug it out of Aurelius’s closet. 

AURELIUS: You bought it for me as a gift!

ALDEN: And it looks much better on me. 

AURELIUS: Bea, this is the kind of thing you get when you’ve been with someone for ages. Stay single, get a dog. This is my husband, Alden.

ALDEN: Can I get you anything? Water, coffee, tea, wine? I’m sorry but we haven’t stocked up on any sort of… vampiric offerings, Grace hasn’t been by in a while and – as you are probably aware – it does not keep very well. 

BEA: Water is fine, thanks.

GRACE: Let’s avoid blood talk for now, shall we? Bea’s still… adjusting to a lot of things.

BEA: Yeah… so what do you guys do?

GRACE: Aurelius is an architect. 

BEA: Ah. Do I blame you for the condo building that blocks my view these days?

ALDEN: He’s mostly hands-off at his firm as of late. Shrimp?

BEA: Uh, I’m alright. And Alden? Same?

ALDEN: I run a letterpress studio. Mostly wedding invites, business cards, posters for breweries. The usual. 

GRACE: He used to do it all by hand, but now-

ALDEN: I still do. My assistants handle the more tech-heavy graphical design. I understand InDesign, I just do not find the act of using it enjoyable. [SFX: oven ding] Ah, that would be the galette. Excuse me. 

AURELIUS: I’ll grab some extra plates… [SFX: they both get up and leave]

BEA: This is…

GRACE: Hm?

BEA: Strangely normal.

GRACE: What did you expect?

BEA: No idea. … So wait, is it like, an at-will transformation or is it only on the full moon? Am I allowed to ask that?

GRACE: It’s both. Full moon nights are required, but the rest of the time they can shift forms at will. Especially at their age, they’re quite… adept. Why? Would you have preferred to be a werewolf? 

BEA: Maybe. I’d be able to still go to the beach.

GRACE: You can still go to the beach. 

BEA: You know what I mean. 

GRACE: There’s advantages and disadvantages to all forms. [SFX: a large dog approaches] Hm, interesting. 

BEA: Hello pooch. What’s their dog’s name? 

GRACE: For crying out loud. Alden! 

BEA: What? 

GRACE: They don’t have a dog, that’s just Alden fucking with you.

ALDEN: [SFX: transforms back] Sorry, it’s been a long time since I’ve pulled that one. 

AURELIUS: I told him not to, but he never listens!

BEA: Alright, maybe it’s not as normal as I thought. 

 

[SFX: transition from living room to the office. Rhys comes over and puts his laptop down]

RHYS: I’ve been googling. Not a lot of moth-forward social media accounts, but I did find something interesting. So they’re moth people, right?

BEA: Yeah.

RHYS: I was thinking, who deals with insects? So I started looking at exterminators. 

BEA: That’s either incredibly inspired or the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

RHYS: It can be both! Anyway, most were dead ends but I did find this one page for a guy in the west end, someone left a very scathing review saying that he did not take them seriously when they said that “giant moths” were on their property. The guy who owned the business said that this was “stupid and a bunch of bullshit” because moths can’t be “that big”, but a little more digging shows that there was a post from this person on a local Facebook group saying that they had been seeing a “big bug” near their property. 

BEA: That’s actually kind of amazing. Do you know where they are?

RHYS: Junction triangle.

BEA: That’s a pretty big area, but… I may have something that might help whittle that down. 

RHYS: What did you find?

BEA: I posted threads in the local subreddits asking if anyone had had any supernatural or weird encounters.

RHYS: Oh! Any leads?

BEA: Most of them aren’t anything related – ghost in University College, ghost in Black Creek Manor, same old same old – but there are three that stand out: a runner who came across a figure with scary eyes, a tall shape that nearly caused someone to ride their bike into a tree, and a guy who, and I quote, “shit his pants and then left them in a public bathroom lol sorry facilities person” because he thought he saw an old woman, and then she turned around and he was bathed in a red light. And they all happened in High Park.

RHYS: And you’re sure it’s not just Mothman?

BEA: Charlie.

RHYS: Sorry, Charlie Mothman.

BEA: Well the “old woman” line was the first tip off, but the cyclist mentioned that she also smelled White Diamonds as she passed by.

RHYS: And that is…

BEA: Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds, a very 90s perfume. Charlie’s not going to be wearing that. That’s an older mom scent. Or a grandma scent, to be fully honest. 

RHYS: So an old lady is out there scaring people?

BEA: I mean, could be a mom. An older mom in the area. An older… mothmom. 

RHYS: Do we start knocking on doors?

BEA: We might have to, but hopefully not. I’ll wait to see if there’s another post but it might be worth walking around and checking with people in the area.

RHYS: What do we say? “Hello, I’m from the Big Bug Bureau, have you seen any big bugs lately?”

BEA: Say you’re part of a local group putting together spooky stories about the area. We can go speak to some business owners to start, maybe start asking locals. It’s pretty early, so if we head out there we could start canvassing with anybody who’s still open. Grace also gave me the name of someone we could go talk to, but she said he’s a little… secretive and uh, I guess the word she used is testy. 

RHYS: Ah, that’s fine. I like a challenge. Come on, let’s get out there! [SFX: grabs reusable water bottle but it’s full of blood] Is this your water bottle?

BEA: Oh, uh, yeah-

RHYS: Mind if I grab a sip? I’m dying here. [SFX: starts opening the cap]

BEA: No, I would prefer it if you didn’t. … Sorry, I’m getting over something. Don’t want to spread it around.

RHYS: That’s fine, I- [SFX: sniffs, then reseals] man, you never got rid of that new bottle metallic smell, huh?

BEA: Just don’t touch my stuff, man.

RHYS: Alright, sorry, can we at least stop by a convenience store then? All the fridge has in here is beet juice.

BEA: Fine, and then we need to see what’s out there.

 

[SFX: transition, they’re walking around on the street, Rhys is eating a sandwich]

RHYS_NARRATION: It’s pretty cool being out in the field, I didn’t think I’d be out here this fast but hey, I ain’t complaining. I assumed I’d be only making coffee and filling out forms in triplicate, but Grace seems to work starting late, and Bea is a funny one. Loves a big hat. Seems inconvenient. Stylish, but inconvenient. 

BEA: You’ve never had a banh mi before?

RHYS: Nope. I like it. 

BEA: Good, this place is my favourite. 

RHYS_NARRATION: Locals didn’t seem to have much info. There were a few who had a little insight into possible spooky goings-on, the occasional bump in the night, but only one person had any real lead: a young guy who spoke of red lights in the marshes of High Park. Eyes that watch. Eyes that peer into your very soul. [SFX: he trips a little, stumbles while walking]

BEA: Careful.

RHYS: Sorry, lost in my own head there. 

BEA: Ok, the person that Grace said we could talk to, they’re down here, waiting for us. I asked if we could just call her but apparently she doesn’t have a cell phone. Doesn’t trust the government not to track her, apparently. Had to go through other channels, so she’ll only talk in person. 

RHYS: … Are you sure? Is this safe?

BEA: I trust Grace’s instincts. Mostly. 

RHYS_NARRATION: We’re heading down an alleyway with a darkness so thick it looks like pitch. 

BEA: Can you stay behind me, please?

RHYS: I’m bigger than you. 

BEA: I’ll be fine. … Hello?

SASQUATCH: Oui?

BEA: Hi, uh… I’m Bea, Grace said you’d talk to us? 

SASQUATCH: Sure. I owe her a favour. Let’s make this quick. 

RHYS_NARRATION: There is a shape at the end of the alleyway, and it’s huge. It just loom over us in the darkness, hair pouring out of every available edge. There’s a smell, deep and woody, gamey, like a herd of deer just ran by. I can see its eyes glint at us. They’re narrowed as if they’re trying to take in every detail. As if they’re trying to figure out who to deal with first. 

BEA: You from around here?

SASQUATCH: Lived here for a bit, moved away, currently back visiting a buddy. I’m from just outside Saguenay.  

BEA: Didn’t think there were… 

SASQUATCH: Sasquatch? 

BEA: Didn’t know you guys were around there. 

SASQUATCH: We move around. Look, I don’t want to stay long. There’s freaks out here, there’s been bad stuff happening. I’m not waiting around. You’re looking for the mothman’s mother? 

BEA: Yeah.

SASQUATCH: I met her, few years ago. She’s nice. Why are you looking for her?

BEA: That’s between me and my client. I’ll just let you know that it’s all above board.

SASQUATCH: Better be. I hear things are getting rough here for people like me, more so than usual. But yeah, old moth lady, she lives on the edge of the park. She’s nice enough. I did some roofing work for her back when I still lived here. I don’t miss this shithole. Too loud. 

BEA: Great. Did you get a name?

SASQUATCH: Marie. Marion. Monique. Chez pas. Something like that. 

BEA: Is there an easy way to get to hers?

SASQUATCH: Get out in the marsh, walk around, look for the lights. I don’t know, you expect me to offer her phone number? Give her a quick text? 

BEA: It’s fine, we’ll figure it out.

SASQUATCH: If you want to find her, she’ll know. She’ll find you. She’ll open the door. You better not hurt her, she’s nice. Sweet old lady. But head to the eastern side of the pond and start walking along the edge. If you see a line of lily pads, a trail in the marsh, you’re on the right path. Don’t do anything to her, ok? It’s hard enough out here for people like us. Grace mentioned about the stabbing case. You look fine.

BEA: It’s all good.

SASQUATCH: Mhmm. Sure. When she mentioned that I did a little asking around. Don’t like people getting hurt. Did you hear? There was a guy, tall guy, smelled weird, but tres bon, he was skulking around Leslieville last week. Bad vibes. Bad doings. He was carrying a box. Did something get stolen?

BEA: Not that I know of. 

SASQUATCH: It was a little wooden box. He was asking around about addresses of a few places. One of them was your office according to my friend. 

BEA: Where else did he ask about? 

SASQUATCH: Chez pas. Don’t know. A bar. Some club. 

BEA: And was he… human?

SASQUATCH: Dunno. Kept his face hidden. Smart. Just smelled weird. Heavy. Perfumed. A smell too young for his voice.  

BEA: Alright. If you think of anything else, your buddy can reach out to Grace, but for now we’ll just… get out of your hair. 

RHYS_NARRATION: I want to see what he looks like as he shifts a little into the edge of the moonlight.

SASQUATCH: À qui? C’est qui lui? Eh? You didn’t tell me you brought him!

BEA: Huh?

RHYS: Me?

SASQUATCH: Who the fuck is that?!

BEA: He’s fine, you leave him be. 

RHYS_NARRATION: This guy, he’s massive. I am suddenly aware of how small I am in comparison. And how breakable all my bones are. Papier maché in the hands of a client that’s ready to strike. 

SASQUATCH: I did not agree to talk to this human! He’s going to TALK.

RHYS: Dude, calm down!

SASQUATCH: These guys TALK. They SHOOT you! You ever been shot at, lady?

BEA: No, I have not. Rhys, get out of here.

RHYS: No! I’m not going to let this guy push you around!

SASQUATCH: You want to fight, little man? 

RHYS: Bring it, you freak!

BEA: Goddamnit.

SASQUATCH: I told you, I TOLD YOU, [SFX: approaching] guys like this, they’re ALL THE SAME. 

BEA: Rhys, LEAVE.

RHYS: I should go. [SFX: starts walking away, almost in a trance] I should leave. 

SASQUATCH: You want to dance instead? 

BEA: Hey, I never challenged you to anything. 

SASQUATCH: But he saw me, and I don’t like that. 

RHYS_NARRATION: Bea is standing in his way and in my head I imagine myself leaping in front, stopping him, putting my dukes up like an old-timey fighter. But I am frozen to the spot, my veins full of ice as the fear threatens to shatter me. 

BEA: Back off.

SASQUATCH: Don’t tell me what to do, chauve souris.

BEA: You watch your mouth. What, are you scared of me?

SASQUATCH: I don’t mess with sangsues.  

BEA: You want to call me a bloodsucker, I’ll give you one. RHYS, LOOK OUT!

RHYS: What? [SFX: he gets knocked to the ground and the sound of Bea turning into endless bats explodes across the space]

RHYS_NARR: Suddenly, I am smashed out of my fear reverie and find myself on the ground, the noise surrounding me both novel and familiar. Bats, so many of them.

RHYS: Shit! [SFX: he dives behind a dumpster and covers his head]

SASQUATCH: [cursing in French, takes off running down the alleyway]

[SFX: The bats sound quiets down and suddenly it’s just Bea, awkwardly and carefully walking over to Rhys]

RHYS: Ah, fuck! Bea? Are you alright? Holy shit, did you see that swarm? 

BEA: I did, wow, that was a lot! I, uh… saw them roosting up there and scared them so that they’d… fly around and freak them out.

RHYS: Where were you? 

BEA: I ducked into a doorway.

RHYS: Really? Fuck, I must have missed you.

BEA: Yeah, it’s very dark in here. It’s fine, he’s gone.

RHYS: Good god. What did she call you?

BEA: What?

RHYS: She said something in French. She called you a mouse? I don’t know, I flunked French.

BEA: Yeah. She called me small. 

RHYS: That’s rude.

BEA: Accurate, at least. 

RHYS: Still rude.

BEA: Come on, we got more to do. Let’s go see what we can find at the park.

 

[SFX: transition from alleyway to quiet park as the evening rolls in]

RHYS_NARRATION: The air was starting to cool, but that didn’t stop us from heading deep into the bush around the edges of the pond. The ground was soft, mossy and damp. It also didn’t stop the bugs. [SFX: mosquito buzz and a slap] There were a lot. I had this concerning moment where I thought that I would end up leaving here a deflated balloon. 

BEA: Feeling the glamour of the job yet?

RHYS: I’m certainly feeling something! [SFX: slaps another bug] Why aren’t they bugging you?

BEA: I probably taste bad.

RHYS: Lucky.

RHYS_NARRATION: She’s completely fine. No wonder they’re going for me, whatever bug spray she’s used has created some sort of force field around her. I’ve never gone this far off the trails in High Park. Now we’re just in some sort of swampy mush. [SFX: a squelchy footstep]

RHYS: Fuck!

BEA: Watch your feet, it’s gross out here. Also, we’re also at the walkway.

RHYS: Walkway?

BEA: The lily pads, in a line. Look ahead. See the light?

RHYS: I… I do.

RHYS_NARRATION: Just ahead of us there’s a dim light. At first, you’d mistake it for something in the distance, a reflection, whatever. But if you really look at it, you can start to make out the outline of a window, tucked away in a mess of trees. As we get closer, I can start to make out the house. It’s weird, though, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on it, I can’t get a read on the building. It’s like it never fully comes into focus. I’m going to need glasses after this, I think.

BEA: Ok, I don’t know what kind of reception we’re going to get, so here’s to hoping this is the right place and that they’re ok with us coming by.

RHYS: Two humans just stumbling up to their door, I’m sure that happens a lot.

BEA: Hm. Yeah. Oh, hang on. [SFX: she brushes leaves off of his shirt]

RHYS: Oh! [SFX: he steps back a bit]

RHYS_NARRATION: Maybe it’s because things have been really weird today and I’m on edge, but Bea’s touch as she brushes bits of leaf and swamp off of me feels… tingly. In a good way. Like if a twinkling noise had some sort of tactile feedback.

BEA: Oh, sorry! Did I catch something?

RHYS: No, yes? No, no, it’s fine. Do you want to do the honours?

BEA: Sounds good. [SFX: she knocks] Big place.

RHYS: You know, a week ago I would’ve said something like, “That’s not possible,” but now it feels like anything could be possible. 

BEA: Now you’re getting it. [SFX: from a distance, a static starts to build, hissing and spitting. Then a harsh clicking and chittering. It builds and builds] Oh boy.

RHYS: Bea, I’m really hoping she’s happy to see us, because if not-

BEA: If not then be ready to run. [SFX: the door opens] Hello… ma’am. My name is Beatrice Ashe and this is Rhys Oakwood, and we’re here on behalf of your son.

MOTHMOM: [SFX: curious chittering]

 

[SFX: transition back to the hum of the lights of the office, warm and electric]

GRACE: [SFX: approaching outside the door] Thanks for coming, they’re just in here. [SFX: she opens the door to her office and Grace and Mothmom walk in. There’s a humming in the air]

MOTHMOM: [son?]

MOTHMAN: [mom?]

MOTHMOM: [my boy, my baby boy, I’ve missed you so] 

GRACE: Isn’t this so sweet?

RHYS: The noise is making every hair on my body stand on end. 

GRACE: Shhh, just enjoy the moment. 

RHYS_NARRATION: The two of them embrace, their shapes blurring into each other. The only edges I can see are the shape of the cable-knit sweater the mom is wearing and the canvas jacket Charlie Mothman is in. For a few moments, they just stand there and the clicking quiets. And then, Charlie makes a few quiet noises and motions to the door. 

MOTHMAN: [honey, come in] [SFX: the door opens and a woman and child walk in]

ElIZABETH: Hi, I’m Elizabeth. It’s nice to finally meet you. And this is Ben!

MOTHMAN: [our son! your grandson]

MOTHCHILD: [joyfully child chittering]

ELIZABETH: He’s been so excited to meet you.

RHYS_NARRATION: The woman standing in the doorway is short and slight. She’s got a mess of black hair piled onto the top of her head. She’s dressed comfortably and is carrying a backpack that is partially unzipped. I can see a stuffed animal is about to fall out of it. And she’s human. She walks over to Charlie and takes his hand. His fingers wrap around hers twice. 

As for the child, well… 

ELIZABETH: Ben, do you want to go say hi to grandma?

RHYS_NARRATION: The kid is small – normal for a toddler – but looks like he’s been made out of buzzing grey static. Somewhere deep in my brain, I wish I could adjust an aerial so I could get a clearer picture. As he walks over, he brushes by my knee and even the brief feeling throws me out of time for just a second. [SFX: Rhys enters a space outside of ours]

It’s ten years ago. I’m being asked not to leave. My bag is already in the car. I’m hungry and I don’t want to stick around anymore. She’s tearing up but I’m already thinking about getting fries-

[SFX: regular world returns]

GRACE: I’m glad this was able to work out. 

RHYS: Huh? Oh, yeah, me too. 

BEA: You ok?

RHYS: Hm? Yeah, fine.

RHYS_NARRATION: Memories break through the earth like hands from those buried too soon. 

GRACE: Aww, your son is adorable. 

ELIZABETH: I know, he’s just like his dad. 

RHYS_NARRATION: There is a happy family in front of me celebrating as Grace starts to grab the last of the paperwork for Charlie to sign. Elizabeth picks her son up. Nothing seems to happen to her, but I make no effort to shake anyone’s hand as they leave. I just give a little wave and a smile. They’re ready to start a new chapter in their lives. I know the feeling well. But you can only look forward, keep moving until there’s nowhere left to go. 

I do not want to think about the past. 

[end]

Credits

Featuring the voices of:

Ian Boddy as Rhys
Alex Nursall as Bea
Emily Kellogg as Grace
Taylor Davis as Aurelius
Harlan Guthrie as Alden
Stéphanie Broschart as The Sasquatch
Mariella Lopez as Tracy
and Maggie Blouin Pearl as Elizabeth

Woodbine is an original podcast created, written, and produced by Emily Kellogg and Alex Nursall
Showrunning and direction by Alex Nursall
Production and promotion by Emily Kellogg
Engineering and sound design by Ian Boddy
Theme by Phil Wright
Music by Phil Wright and Ian Boddy
Recorded at Pirate Sound
Artwork by Andy Kelly
Distributed by Realm