Woodbine

Summary

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Do you know who’s looking back? A client comes looking for help with a presence in their life that’s causing problem after problem. Another client is looking for closure on a chapter of their life that they want to be done. But closure isn’t easy, or wanted, or guaranteed. Sometimes you’re left picking up the pieces of the mirror, unsure of your own reflection. Is the person that you see the person you want to be?

Content Warnings: N/A

Transcript

[SFX: An old Cabbagetown mansion. A video of a wedding ceremony is playing on a television. A woman is sitting there with a cat on her lap, the house is silent other than a clock ticking] 

 

NATALIA: I promise to stand by your side in every season of life, to be your partner in every adventure- [SFX: a cat meows in the room]

ELEANOR: [to cat, quietly] It’s ok, Whiskers. Your mom is just… not at her best right now. [SFX: the cat lets out a soft meow]

NATALIA: I promise to support your dreams, encourage you in times of doubt- [SFX: a thud from somewhere upstairs]

ELEANOR: [SFX: Eleanor gasps and picks up the remote, pausing the video. There’s some creaking coming from upstairs] Who… who’s there?

SPOOKY VOICE: [come find me come find me come find me]

ELEANOR: Whoever you are, you shouldn’t be here. [SFX: the footsteps are coming closer, as though someone is walking down the stairs. The cat hisses, the clock that had been ticking in the background stops. The wedding ceremony video starts playing again, albeit distorted] 

NATALIA: [SFX: video, but now she sounds weirdly distorted] I promise to embrace all the changes that we dream of- that we dream of- that we dream dream dream dream dream. I promise. You promise. Promise.

ELEANOR: [quietly] I don’t understand.

NATALIA_VIDEO: I promise -in dreams dreams dreams dreams dreams dream dreams [getting louder and louder] promise promise PROMISEPROMISEPROMISEPROMISE-[SFX: cuts off harshly] [SFX: There’s the sound of breaking glass as a mirror falls and shatters. Whiskers yowls and runs away]

 

[SFX: Transition. Grace’s office] 

 

RHYS: [SFX: finishes taking notes, puts pen down] Alright, first question: Is the cat ok?

ELEANOR: Yes, thankfully. Whiskers lunged at the shadow thing and it seemed to… disappear, but the mirror over the fireplace shattered. I’m pretty sure it was an antique.

RHYS_NARRATION: It’s late. We usually don’t interview people this far into the evening but… it was requested. Vampires, they-… we sleep during the day for obvious reasons. But some people, they stay up into the night because the darkness is not kind to them. The client is shaken up. I can’t blame her. She looks young, but tired. I know you’re not supposed to say that out loud, or anything, but it’s not about her looks. It’s in how she carries herself, like gravity is going extra hard on her. I don’t know, I think grief has a way of marking people sometimes. Also, if this job has taught me anything, it’s that looks mean nothing when it comes to age. For all I know, she could be 200.

ELEANOR: [sigh] My brother is going to kill me.

GRACE: You have a sibling?

ELEANOR: It’s technically my brother’s house. We’ve been renting since he moved to London a few years ago for work. He cuts us a great rate. Or I guess… cuts me a great rate. It’s just me and Whiskers now.

GRACE: Hm. The entity, had you ever seen it before?

ELEANOR: No. But… 

RHYS: … yeah?

ELEANOR: Natalia used to have these dreams. Or… well, I called it sleep paralysis. She would half wake up, unable to move, and see a shadow figure coming towards her. That’s how she would describe it. It would keep getting closer and closer until it was hovering over her… and that’s when she would wake up. I thought it was horrible but she seemed… to just deal with it. I didn’t think anything of it, she said it was actually pretty common, but… I don’t know.

RHYS: Was there any other sort of disturbance in your house that you guys noticed?

ELEANOR: No, nothing that I saw. I don’t… I didn’t used to believe in any of that. But… things have been… yeah. The video had been normal up until lately, but now… it’s… being weird. These dark shapes in the video, like… stains on the tape.

RHYS: You have a VHS copy?

ELEANOR: Natalia loved a retro vibe, said it felt more real. I’ve… been watching our wedding video a lot lately, since she’s been gone.

RHYS: I’m sorry, can I ask how Natalia passed?

ELEANOR: [sigh] She’s not dead. She’s just gone. It’s been six weeks. Her mother was… sick. I knew that. She was… estranged from her family. It was complicated. I never met them. She always described them as… monsters but… like not in a mean way, just in a… way. But yeah, she got word her mom was sick and that she needed to come see her and she was originally not going to, she seemed… pretty against it. But then… something changed. She was taking calls late at night, she wasn’t sleeping well, she was always having these dreams that got… dark. And then… she… left. Just slipped out while I was asleep one night and left behind a note. It said: I’ll be back. Don’t look for me. I’ll find you. But… she never came back. The only thing she took with her was a suitcase of clothes. She… even left her wedding ring on the kitchen table. I…- I don’t understand how someone can pledge to stand by your side forever and the next day just leave? I think I’ve been watching our wedding video over and over just to prove to myself that I’m not crazy and that our relationship was real and it was important, and just because she left… who we were can’t be erased. … I’m sorry, these are probably thoughts for my therapist.

GRACE: It’s ok. We’re here to help.

RHYS: Yeah, we might not have the cure for a broken heart, but the ghost thing? That’s more our forté. I think.

ELEANOR: I thought you were paranormal investigators?

RHYS: More “investigators who are paranormal” if you catch my drift.

ELEANOR: What?

GRACE: Don’t mind him, he’s still new. But yes, we can look into the possible haunting. Can we come by this week with equipment? We need to be sure what we’re dealing with and that will require a little more information.

ELEANOR: Honestly, I’d appreciate the company. It’s been… hard on my own. Sometimes I wonder if Natalia’s off living her “best life”. No time to bother your estranged wife when you’re busy riding mopeds in Rome like you’re cosplaying Eat, Pray, Love or something.

RHYS: I like that movie.

GRACE: Of course you do.

RHYS: I have varied tastes!

GRACE: Has there been any more activity since that night?

ELEANOR: Nothing that I’ve noticed, but…

GRACE: Yes?

ELEANOR: It’s probably nothing. It’s just… my cat has been more… protective of me since she left. He used to always sleep at the foot of the bed in between us, but he’s taken to sleeping on my chest, tucked into the space below my neck. And I’ve been having this weird recurring dream where Natalia’s in front of me, trying to speak, but I can’t hear her, and then I wake up. But even me waking up doesn’t make him move. He just stares into the darkness and hisses.

GRACE: Hm. Is there anything in the room in the direction he’s facing? Anything that could be a conduit for paranormal energy?

ELEANOR: I mean, there’s a full-length mirror, but it’s from IKEA. Not really a haunted antique.

GRACE: Right. We’ll come by and see what we can find. [SFX: a small alert noise on her phone] Ah. If you’ll excuse me, I have another appointment. Rhys can work out scheduling with you.

ELEANOR: Of course. Thank you.

GRACE: We’ll come by soon. Excuse me. [SFX: Grace gets up and walks out]

RHYS: [SFX: on computer] Alright, let me check the calendar…

RHYS_NARRATION: I feel for Eleanor, I really do. But… sometimes people just have to leave, even if it feels like hell to do it. I believe her on the ghost thing. Wait, are ghosts real? I should ask Grace. That has… such implications. But I don’t know if whatever it is will have anything to do with her wife. Ex-wife? It’s probably just a connection she’s made in her head, this feeling that one bad thing ties into another. Two hauntings, but in different forms. Sometimes people just can’t be the person you need, even if they wanted to be. Or that you hoped they’d be. But I don’t think that’s what she needs to hear right now.

RHYS: Oh, actually, you got time on the 14th? I know that’s a little soon, but…

 

[SFX: transition. Grace is sitting in Lennox’s office]

 

GRACE_NARRATION: I sometimes wonder what happens when love disappears between two people. Where does it go? Maybe love becomes a ghost. Maybe it goes on to haunt the places where it once lived, when it was ruddy cheeked and youthful. I have loved, and I have lost many a time. And I cannot believe that the love I once held for anyone simply… disappears. No, I think sometimes it transmutes in a macabre alchemy, the chemical makeup of intimacy turned corrosive.

GRACE: This is blackmail.

LENNOX: “Blackmail,” it’s such a crude word, don’t you think? I’m simply offering you… options.

GRACE_NARRATION: I am looking at a man I once loved in many complicated ways. As a mentor, a confidant. His clothes have changed, but he looks otherwise the same as the day when we first met: lines carved but never deepening, hair forever on the brink of salt-and-pepper. The curse of immortality on show.

GRACE: I’m trying to skip the show of pretense.

LENNOX: What’s the saying? Clarity is close to godliness?

GRACE: The options I am presented with are these: I comply with your demands or you tell the Board of Directors about my… unique ability.

LENNOX: And Bea’s.

GRACE: And Bea’s, which is really just throwing me to the proverbial wolves.

LENNOX: Wolves have nothing to do with this.

GRACE: No, it’s just the unscrupulous freaks who we both know would be ready to drain me for their own ends. I’m sure you’ll understand if I’m not enthused by the idea of being murdered so that management can ensure their marketing team isn’t understaffed.

LENNOX: Oh please, you know the employee retention issue is in the IT department. But HR isn’t the problem here. Vampires are dying and more aren’t being made. It has… upset the balance. The natural order of things. I’m sure you’ve felt it, the encroaching weakness. Another vampire was killed just last night, you must’ve heard by now. What we’re facing is the death of a species by a thousand cuts. I don’t have the luxury of coddling you when the fate of our kind is at stake

GRACE: I’m ignoring the pun. And as if you’ve ever coddled me.

LENNOX: You never seemed like you needed it. You’re welcome to come back. I can make things comfortable. I’d like you here again.

GRACE: No, no and no again, always no!

LENNOX: Maybe it would be good. For both you and Bea. Tell me, how did you two meet? Was it at work? Or before?

GRACE_NARRATION: There was a time in which I would have been flattered by his attention, but now his gaze on me fills me with disgust. I try to focus instead on thoughts of Bea, the softness of her touch and the warm euphoria of her embrace. I want to give her all of the things that she deserves: a love made up of tenderness, safety, kindness… But I am gripped with the fear that I will fail. That the only kind of love I could give to her is the one that he taught me. It’s the one I knew the longest.

GRACE: That’s not important at this moment. Either way, you’re being dramatic. There are plenty of vampires left.

LENNOX: [sigh] You think I’d trust your assessment of this situation? You’ve been… disconnected, distracted. Can’t blame you, such a pretty little distraction.

GRACE: Don’t change the subject.

LENNOX: Congratulations on your new family, by the way. How does it feel now that you’re a grandmother?

GRACE: [sigh] What are your terms?

LENNOX: My terms? It’s simple, really. Grace, it may be hard to believe, but I miss you and what you brought to my life.

GRACE: Be very, very careful with what you say next.

LENNOX: Regular check-ins. Updates on your life! That’s all I want for now. I want to be a part of your world again, I want to know what’s going on directly from the horse’s mouth, I don’t want to have to rely on… other methods. They’re effective, but definitely more invasive.

GRACE: Pick something else.

LENNOX: Would you like to know what it has been suggested that we do, were we to find a vampire capable of creating other vampires?

GRACE: Yes. Drain their blood and take their power for themselves. I’m here, aren’t I? I understand the threat.

LENNOX: I’m not so sure you do. The board understands that wielding the power would put a target on anyone’s back. They don’t want to have to look over their shoulders for the rest of time. No, they want a vampire with such a power… as a tool. Locked away for safekeeping when not in use. Like a knife in a sheath-

GRACE: That’s not going to happen.

LENNOX: -And should the vampire in question prove to be… uncooperative, they would take more… drastic measures. [quiet] Do you remember that nasty incident in Prague? What I saved you from?

GRACE: … Yes.

LENNOX: Of course you do. So you’ll remember that being starved… kept in the dark… a vampire would do most anything once the bloodlust has taken hold. Now of course, I don’t condone this kind of torture… but I can’t deny that the method has a way of making one more… malleable. More willing to take direction. Tell me, how do you think you would fare, chained in the damp dark? Better yet, how would sweet Bea?

GRACE: How often?

LENNOX: Oh?

GRACE: Your “check-ins”, how often do you need them? I can… send a text.

LENNOX: And deny myself the pleasure of hearing your enchanting voice? A phone call, I think. Every other day.

GRACE: A voice note.

LENNOX: Twice a day.

GRACE: Once a day.

LENNOX: I’ll take that for now. I knew you would understand, my dear. I’ll let you know if anything else comes up that I would like from you. As always, a pleasure. [puts his hand out to shake] It’s always best to seal a deal with a shake. You’re not going to leave me hanging, are you?

GRACE: If hanging could kill you I would have done it a long time ago. [SFX: stands up abruptly, pushing her chair back] 

LENNOX: Ah, well. Talk soon! [SFX: the door slams. Lennox starts humming to himself as he starts working again] 

 

[SFX: transition. Office, Bea and Rhys are working]

 

RHYS_NARRATION: Bea’s been checking her phone every couple of minutes. It’s a little distracting. Things have been quiet here lately. She’s been… not as talkative as before. She watches me though, closely. As if she’s waiting for me to do something questionable. Is this how it felt for her as a new vampire? Did Grace peer out at her like a badly hidden security camera? … Do creator vampires sleep with their creations? Is that a thing or is it just them? Probably just them.

BEA: Do you believe in ghosts?

RHYS: Is that a trick question?

BEA: Sort of.

RHYS: I don’t know if I’d haunt a wedding video.

BEA: I mean, I don’t think I would either.

RHYS: But like, people leave marks on a place, right? Like not just physical but also emotional or… mental? I guess? And that stays long after you’re gone. Bad stuff happens and it follows you like a bad smell sometimes. You can’t just escape, it… knows where you are. So… for Eleanor, she’s got this part of her that’s gone, but it’s still haunting her. I mean, her wife isn’t dead so I don’t know how she’d be a ghost, but y’know… you can’t escape your past.

BEA: You can always try.

RHYS: Yeah, ain’t that easy, bud. [SFX: tiny pieces of paper being shuffled around by Rhys, Bea gets up] Are you heading out?

BEA: Yeah, just need to talk to one last client and then I’m going to head back to mine. I get the feeling that Grace’s meeting with Lennox is going to go… poorly.

RHYS: I’d be surprised if it didn’t. What are the chances that he turns around and goes, “Actually, sorry about the whole thing, I’ll go walk into the sun now”?

BEA: pretty low. [SFX: the sound of one of those shaker bottles being shaken, I don’t know if they have another name] Are you mixing protein powder into blood?

RHYS: It helps fill me up. Also, just because my diet has mostly changed doesn’t mean it needs to completely change.

BEA: I guess I can’t judge.

RHYS: No you can’t, Miss “I made a blood affogato.”

BEA: Hey, you thought it was good! Oh, ok, I think I see my last client approaching on the camera.

RHYS: Who is it?

BEA: Simple case, we need to serve divorce papers, she’s actually just a human in need of some help. Grace cut her a deal.

RHYS: [shrug] Alright. Local guy?

BEA: She thinks he moved to Toronto. Deadbeat on the run. Not from like… the law or anything. Just… responsibility, I guess. Mostly just been avoiding the paperwork, she just wants to move on.

RHYS: Can’t I go talk to the client and YOU continue working through 9000 tiny pieces of paper?

BEA: Not my fault the Beast of Bodmin ate someone’s homework. We’re just trying to prove it was actually a dog.

RHYS: It was a dog! We are nowhere NEAR the Cornwall moors!

BEA: I know that, but a cheque’s a cheque sometimes.

RHYS: Whatever, it’s fine.

BEA: It’s not even anything that interesting. And, frankly, I’d rather be dealing with the mythical beast. [SFX: the door opens in the background] Ah, and there she is.

RHYS: Want me to go greet her, I need to stretch my legs- [SFX: Rhys walks over, looks through the glass, panics and falls backwards over a chair, upending himself] 

BEA: Holy shit, you ok? What happened?

RHYS: Did that woman say who she was looking for?

BEA: I didn’t get the name yet. Why?

RHYS_NARRATION: Oh my god, oh my fucking god it’s Michelle, she’s here and I can’t do this, I can’t fucking be here, holy shit holy shit holy shit, I can’t breathe, I can’t brea-

BEA: [snapping her fingers] Rhys! Hey! Who is she?

RHYS: Huh?

BEA: Tell me, with your words, who she is.

RHYS: [quietly, like Borat] Mah waaaaaife…

BEA: What? … oh Rhys.

 

[SFX: transition. Eleanor’s house. The cat stirs and starts hissing. Eleanor wakes up. The wedding video starts to play in the background, distorted]

 

ELEANOR: [sleepy, waking up] What the… Whiskers, shh, shhh, it’s ok. The video… [gasp] who… who are you? What are you?!

SPOOKY VOICE: FIND ME, FIND ME, LOOK AT YOURSELF AND FIND ME- [SFX: a mirror shatters, the cat yowls and runs]

ELEANOR: God, the fucking mirror again! Whatever you are, stop it! Leave me alone! [SFX: she turns the TV off and lets out a sad noise as she wraps herself in the blanket]

 

[SFX: transition. Bea’s apartment, knocking on the door. Bea opens it and Grace storms in] 

 

BEA: Grace? What happened with Lennox?

GRACE: That FUCKING- [SFX: a muffled scream into her hands] 

BEA: Hey, hey [SFX: she pulls her in close, rubs her back] it’s ok, it’s alright. What did he do? Do you want to talk about it?

GRACE: Not really. Not… not yet.

BEA: Alright. Do you want a snack? Do you want a drink?

GRACE: No.

BEA: [pause, sexy but a little goofy] Do you want to be distracted? I can be very good at distractions.

GRACE: [small laugh] Don’t I know it.

BEA: I got a laugh. That’s good, that’s a win.

GRACE: What did you win?

BEA: I got a smile out of you. Ok, what did Lennox really say that’s gotten so far into your head? 

GRACE: He just takes what he wants and takes and takes and I am left to flounder in the aftermath. Forever! Forever! I am trapped here. I can’t escape him! [deep breath] I’m sorry. I’m fine. I didn’t mean to storm over here and put you out-

BEA: Shh. Hey, it’s ok. You needed a hug. And a kind face. And this amazing rack.

GRACE: [laughs] Yeah, yeah I did. I don’t feel like I deserve this. I don’t feel like I deserve you.

BEA: Hey, look at me. I am not a thing for you to earn or deserve. That’s for… loyalty points on a credit card. I chose this. I choose you. HR policies be damned.

GRACE: Yes. Of course.

GRACE_NARRATION: I am looking at the woman, strong and soft in so many ways, in front of me and it is true: I choose her. I am falling in love, and I… am… terrified. This feels… different than before, times when I rushed in, sure of my impunity. Now… It feels like almost a foolish choice when I am so very aware of the potential consequences. I wonder if the soft parts of me that so stubbornly persevere can survive. But the brush of her skin against mine feels like home. How could I live with myself if I lost her to my own cowardice?

BEA: Do you want to talk about it?

GRACE: No.

BEA: That’s ok. Do you want to hear how my night has gone?

GRACE: Yes.

BEA: Great, because I can change the subject. You know that woman, Michelle Beauchene? The lady looking to have us serve her ex divorce papers?

GRACE: Yeah, easy job. Is something weird with the ex?

BEA: Yes, the ex is Rhys.

GRACE: WHAT?

BEA: She came in, he saw her, panicked, and before I could get any real answer out of him, he was turning into bats and flying out the window.

GRACE: Did you tell her that he works with us?

BEA: No, I also panicked and just said I’d get the papers to him. Did you know anything about this?

GRACE: No! That’s… I mean I know he’s been drifting from place to place but I’m just shocked that he’s been running from something like that, feels so…

BEA: Yeah. I don’t know if it’s out of character per se, but it’s… definitely complicated. I have the papers. I’m just hoping he doesn’t freak out and quit and never come back to the office. First because that would suck, and second because then we’d have to go back to her and be like “whoops, we failed.” [SFX: phone buzzing] Your phone’s angry.

GRACE: If this is Lennox again I swear to-… Oh.

BEA: Who is it?

GRACE: Shh. [SFX: she answers] Hello? … hang on, what? … Can you… … NO.

BEA: What’s going on?

GRACE: You’re JOKING. … REALLY? Oh my GOD-

BEA: Grace, what’s wrong?

GRACE: We’ll be there as soon as we can. … Yeah… bye-[SFX: she’s cut off by him hanging up first]. Oh my god, that fucker. 

 

[SFX: transition. Bea and Grace walk up to Alden & Aurelius’ house] 

 

GRACE_NARRATION: It’s been several weeks since I’ve seen either Alden or Aurelius. They’ve been avoiding me. Or, well, I’ve been avoiding them, but they were avoiding me too. We’ve just been… in each other’s orbits. A quick text, a missed call not returned. Things have felt off but… you get distracted by your own things. In my defense, I’m… embarrassed with how things have gone after that initial meeting with Lennox. The two of them listened to me endlessly while I worked up the courage to leave him and the business. They were kind about it, patient, endlessly so. But I was echoing the same complaints over and over until they became incantations: words gathering the strength, through repetition, to become action. But it took me too long to see the truth of it all. Maybe if I’d left sooner… It doesn’t matter now. The point is that… having Lennox back in my life? I never wanted them to see me here again.

GRACE: [SFX: knocking] Aurelius? It’s us. [SFX: The door opens] Oh, my poor-… is that… ham on your face?

AURELIUS: Oh. Yes. Well, I’d thank you not to call my Prosciutto di Parma “ham.”

BEA: You have an olive in your hair. Here, let me-

AURELIUS: It’s fine!… thank you. You can… come in. Ignore the mess. I certainly have been. [SFX: Bea and Grace head inside the house, the door closes] 

GRACE: So, he LEFT you? He actually LEFT?

BEA: Whoa, what happened here? Were you also robbed?

AURELIUS: On one hand, no, if you want to be technical about it. But on the other hand… very much yes.

GRACE_NARRATION: The inside of the house looks like it was ransacked. Drawers are half open, their contents spilled onto the floor. Picture frames are empty. Well, some of them, anyway, some are partially empty, the images torn in half, teeth marks visible. It smells dank in here, like… a wine-soaked animal ran through it and shook. In the living room, the very expensive leather couch is just… missing. In its place are a bunch of cushions that uncomfortably resemble a dog bed liberally sprinkled with what looks like shed fur from… well, a depressed werewolf. An elaborate charcuterie board sits on the floor, its contents are smushed as though someone were using it as a pillow.

GRACE: Would you care to explain the state of the place?

AURELIUS: I would. But I need a drink for this. Would you like some wine?

GRACE: Uh, sure.

AURELIUS: [SFX: he uncorks a bottle with his teeth and spits out the cork] Here. I don’t have any clean glasses right now.

BEA: Yeah, I’ll take that… [SFX: she takes the bottle]

GRACE: What happened?

AURELIUS: I take it you haven’t seen the happy news on Instagram!

GRACE: My usage has drastically fallen off as of late.

AURELIUS: [snorts] Then allow me to be the one to show you the carousel… [SFX: he pulls out his phone and pulls up Instagram, hands the phone to Grace] It’s all in the caption.

GRACE_NARRATION: On his phone, I see a photo of Alden on a beach in front of glittering blue water with his arm wrapped around a man who cannot be older than 30. The caption reads, “Love strikes like lightning. In a flash. With a bang. Every strike, an end. But also, a new beginning. Out of the darkness came an angel. My light.” [scoffs] Apparently he writes poetry now. Should have stuck to typesetting.

BEA: That guy is… uh…

AURELIUS: Some young pup.

GRACE: Wait, why do I recognize him?

AURELIUS: Because that’s Craig, his assistant! He’d been here, Grace! He was at our Christmas party! And, for what it’s worth, he brought the WORST store-bought canapés! And Alden had been staying late at the office, he’d been “mentoring” him, and he decides to take his jUnIoR with him on a trip to a conference in goddamn MEXICO. Did I have my suspicions? Maybe. But you’re with someone for SO LONG that you TRUST them, that they’re not going to be an absolute good for nothing MONSTER-[SFX: starts to transform] [growling, unintelligible]

GRACE: Aurelius, you know I don’t speak wolf.

AURELIUS: [werewolf voice] I WILL TEAR THIS PLACE APART! OUR LIVES! REDUCED TO NOTHING! 

GRACE: Did he say anything to you? Did he say why?

AURELIUS: OLD! OLD DOGS! CAN’T LEARN NEW TRICKS!

GRACE: That absolute cad!

BEA: Holy shit, they’re ENGAGED? How long has this been going on? [SFX: Aurelius swipes the phone, which hits the floor and shatters] Whoa! Alright, everyone calm down, let’s put the claws away-

AURELIUS: AURELIUS… IS… A LONE… WOLF… [howls] [SFX: smashing noises]

GRACE: Hey! Aurelius, calm down-… [SFX: smashing] [trying to get things under control] I know the drama is warranted, but darling I’m going to need you to calm down before- [SFX: bottle of wine smashing] Ah, that would’ve been a lovely ripasso.

BEA: I think you need to bring out the big guns before he takes out the drywall.

GRACE: My friend, I apologize in advance for this… but… [SFX: magic time] AURELIUS, HEEL.

BEA: [quietly] He’s going to hate that once he sobers up.

GRACE: [quietly] I panicked. [SFX: magic] Aurelius, my friend, what is it that you want? It is love, I know that to be true. My dear, be calm.

AURELIUS: [SFX: he calms down, comes over to her] Grace-

GRACE: I’m so sorry. You have a lot of righteous anger and I know you need to let it out. But right now [SFX: magic] rest, please rest.

AURELIUS: [yawns] I should… I should have a little lie down. [SFX: Aurelius crashes to the ground and starts to snore] 

BEA: You want me to start cleaning up while you keep an eye on him?

GRACE: Please. There’s a broom in the closet by the stairs.

BEA: Yeah, that’s fine… man, he did a number on this place… [SFX: she walks away]

GRACE_NARRATION: As Bea begins to pick through the remnants of what feels like weeks of sadness, I sit down and watch as Aurelius slowly returns back to his human form, body folding in on itself until he is but a man again. Even then, his mouth is still in an anguished snarl. I can hear Bea stuffing lord knows what into a garbage can. I sit here and wait. It would be nice for him to wake up and see a friendly face, I think.

AURELIUS: [SFX: he stirs, sleepy] Grace? What are you-… oh, my… everything hurts. [groans] I think it’s been years since I’ve transformed out of anger.

GRACE: Shhhh… Just take it easy for now.

AURELIUS: That’s going to hurt tomorrow. Everything’s going to hurt tomorrow. [deep sigh] Grace, I don’t know what to do.

GRACE: I don’t either. What I do know is that there is no right way to react to heartbreak, nor betrayal, although I would advise against having to get your insurance involved.

AURELIUS: I’ve been… acting out.

GRACE: I’m sorry I haven’t been around.

AURELIUS: It’s ok, I… I’ve been spiraling. And I was… embarrassed.

GRACE: You didn’t do anything.

AURELIUS: But I didn’t see it. And now I’m here. In a pile of ham.

GRACE: Prosciutto.

AURELIUS: Thank you.

GRACE: I have to ask, was there any lead up to this? Did you catch them together? Did you have a fight?

AURELIUS: No! I… had some concerns but they all felt… childish. Silly. But we weren’t fighting. That’s what I don’t understand. One day everything was fine, we were picking out new curtains for the bedroom and bickering about dinner reservations, I drive him to the airport, and then before I know what’s happening he’s calling me from Playa de Carmen and confessing that he’s “fallen in love” with some  twenty-something! What, is he going to pay off his student loans as an anniversary present?

GRACE: I’m so sorry. What can I do?

AURELIUS: Well, I see Bea’s cleaning up, that’s a nightmare task all on its own. [SFX: Bea walks by]

BEA: Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’m not going to judge you for eating that much bacon, but I am going to judge you for dumping the fat down the sink. [SFX: walking away] Everyone’s really going through it now…

AURELIUS: I feel duped. I love him, Grace… I loved… [big sigh]. I really did. So many years… and… it feels like they meant nothing. That I could be shed like so much fur in spring.

GRACE_NARRATION: I wish I had better words to say here, but I don’t. What happens when love goes away? A ghost, a spectre in your life, a stain on the edge of your vision. Alden is not physically here but his body left marks on this place. Aurelius, in his own feral way, has been trying to rid the place of them. I can’t say I approve of the method, but that kind of loss… turns you into an animal sometimes. You are both trapped in the cage and alone in the woods. It is too much to handle. So you break. You run. You panic. You hide away. You relive that moment over and over again. The ghost follows. The ghost stays. The ghost will find you, again and again. You can’t escape its cold grip on your wrist.

GRACE: What can I do, Aurie? Other than help you clean this place up. Maybe crack a window.

AURELIUS: I need… to get out of here. I need to not be in this… mausoleum to the life I thought I once had.

GRACE: Well, we have a case to deal with, but after that, we can… get you out of here. Go away for a bit. Maybe rent something in the Muskokas.

AURELIUS: [SFX: rolls over] Want an extra set of hands on the case?

GRACE: Oh, I don’t know-

AURELIUS: Please, Grace, I need a distraction. An outlet. Anything. I’ll just… keep an eye on things.

GRACE: Things are… complicated lately, I should warn you-

AURELIUS: I’ll do anything, please, just get me out of here.

GRACE: [pause, sigh] Fine. Put those puppy dog eyes away. You can join in the lighter stuff but keep your claws sheathed. Now… go put something clean on. And get that ham out of your hair.

 

[SFX: transition. Eleanor’s place. The TV turns on and the wedding video plays again, distorted. There’s a tapping on the glass of the TV tube though, from the inside]

 

SPOOKY VOICE: Come to me, come to me, find me find me find me-  you promised i promise i promise i promise i promise [SFX: a mirror begins to crack and shatter and pieces fall to the ground]

 

[SFX: transition. Bea is silently sitting in the office. A door creaks open and Rhys carefully tries to tiptoe his way in. The light flicks on]

 

BEA: Ah-HA! Knew you’d come back for your backpack.

RHYS: Damnit. Just… let me grab my stuff and I’ll go.

BEA: Rhys, come on, don’t run. Just… talk to me. What is going on? What did you do? Also… sign the damn divorce papers, like what is happening here?

RHYS_NARRATION: How far can you run? You can run forever, if you try. But that’s the shitty part, you have to keep moving. I… I left. I can’t pretend like I’m the good guy here. I’m not. I left because I couldn’t handle… anything. So I started moving and then I didn’t stop until I ended up… here. And things changed. Everything changed. And now it’s changing again.

BEA: Why are you running?

RHYS: I…

BEA: You left your wife, she wants to divorce you, you won’t sign. WHY did you leave?

RHYS: Because… my…

BEA: Look, if it’s crime or drugs or an affair or whatever, just tell me-

RHYS: No! No, none of that. I wish it was that. Well, no, I don’t but…

BEA: Then what was it? What wild thing, what horrible thing started you down this path?

RHYS: My brother died.

BEA: [surprised] Oh. I mean… I’m sorry to hear that. But… how did that lead here?

RHYS: He… he was sick for a long time. We were close, close our whole lives. Our parents were… useless. They were out of our lives in any real way ages ago. So we took care of each other. And… he died. Cancer, if you’re wondering. Moves slow, then really really fast. And when he died I… fell apart. I had spent so long taking care of him that I realized that I had stopped taking care of… anyone else. Including myself. Including… Michelle. And when she tried to fix things I didn’t want to. I just wanted to wallow. And I wanted to leave, not because of her but because of me. I just wanted to go and be out of our town and away from everything that reminded me of all those years and I… I left. It’s… it wasn’t a good idea, ok? I know it wasn’t. But sometimes-

BEA: I know. Sometimes the sadness is louder than any other voice.

RHYS: Yeah.

BEA: How long has it been, Rhys?

RHYS: 5 years?

BEA: Right.

RHYS_NARRATION: The ghost follows. The ghost knows where to find you. The ghost is always there, just on the edge of your vision.

BEA: Do you want to talk to her?

RHYS: No. Yes? I don’t know. Does she want to talk to me?

BEA: I… doubt it.

RHYS: Yeah. Yeah… I fucked up, Bea. I fucked up big time.

BEA: Yep. And now you have to stop running. [SFX: she pulls out the folder] This is going to follow you forever if you don’t.

RHYS: … I think part of me felt that if I did, that was the last piece of that version of my life gone. Everything… over. I didn’t want to face it.

BEA: Things have to end at some point.

RHYS: Yeah… yeah. You ever done anything like this?

BEA: What? No. Are you nuts? This is a you thing. But… [sigh] Yeah, I’ve been running from my own stuff. I know I’ll have to face it head on. But that’s my problem. For now, we have a you problem and you have to deal with it. And hey, if it helps, think of it this way: You get a nice little bonus for tracking down the guy who did this and getting him to sign. Now, what do you want to do, Rhys?

 

[SFX: Transition. Grace, Eleanor, and Aurelius are in Eleanor’s living room] 

 

GRACE: This is the kind of wine you were drinking that night?

AURELIUS: Oh, a wonderful choice. Have you been to this part of France?

ELEANOR: Uh, no. And yeah, that was it. I still don’t understand why that’s important?

GRACE: We’re going to leave an offering to the spirits. Using the same wine allows us to create some of the same conditions as before – it might help us open a line of communications with the same entity.

ELEANOR: I guess that makes sense.

GRACE: Offerings may seem strange, but it’s basic hospitality, really. Be kind and respectful towards spirits, and they will be kind and respectful back – there are exceptions, of course. Just like with people. But in these kinds of investigations I think it’s important to lead with empathy. Manners matter. [SFX: they set down a glass, open & pour the wine] 

AURELIUS: Have you considered pairing this with an aged cheddar?

ELEANOR: No, I… sorry, what did you say your job is?

AURELIUS: Detectionary Assistant.

GRACE: On probation. And it’ll be a short one if you keep acting like this.

ELEANOR: I just want this figured out. This thing, this… spirit… it’s in the TV, it’s in the mirrors… I keep seeing this figure, this shape in the dark and then… whatever mirror is nearby shatters. You know how many I’ve gone through?! I’ve just gotten rid of them for now. Sorry, how’s my hair look? I don’t even know anymore.

AURELIUS: [lying] Oh, uh… good.

ELEANOR: So… what do we do now?

GRACE: We’re going to try communicating using something called a spirit box. It is essentially a radio, rapidly scanning multiple stations at once. Because entities often communicate via radio frequencies it will scan for any kind of anomalous noise, audio, or speech.

ELEANOR: That seems really complicated.

GRACE: I know it might sound that way, but all you really need to know is that I’m going to put on a blindfold, a pair of noise cancelling headphones and listen to the scanner. I’ll repeat anything I hear through the spirit box, but I won’t be able to hear anything you say.

AURELIUS: And while she’s doing that, you and I will ask questions to the spirit world at large. Then we can hope for some correlation to what she hears on the scanner.

ELEANOR: I think I get it.

GRACE: Ok, here goes nothing. [SFX: puts on the headphones and a blindfold]

AURELIUS: [claps hands together] Greetings, spirits! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Aurelius, and I’m a part-time paranormal investigator. I do have other professional pursuits, but I assure you, between Grace and myself, you’re in good hands.

GRACE: she is

AURELIUS: Oooh, a bite! Also, I have to say, this place is beautifully preserved, I’d love to get a closer look at the exposed beams if we have time. Is that the original wood?

GRACE: moving on

AURELIUS: Right, apologies, perhaps a new topic is in order. What would you like to talk about, spirit?

GRACE: apologies

AURELIUS: At least someone understands how to apologize. Do you have unfinished business, spirit? Do you have a message?

GRACE: scared [SFX: there’s a buzzing in the headphones that starts to come through, Grace makes a noise of discomfort]

ELEANOR: What are you scared of?

GRACE: you

ELEANOR: What? Why would you be scared of me? You’re the one in my house!

GRACE: look, and see me, I promise

AURELIUS: Promise to what?

GRACE: I promise [SFX: the distortion builds, the power goes off in the house]

ELEANOR: [whispers] I promise.

AURELIUS: [quietly] Do you normally have power outages?

GRACE: look and see, see me, look at me. I promise

AURELIUS: [whispers] Is someone else here? [SFX: the cat growls] I feel you, buddy.

GRACE: come to me, look and see, little cat

ELEANOR: … No, it can’t be.

GRACE: little cat, little cat

ELEANOR: Ti-minou… no, that doesn’t make any sense. Natalia left, but she’s still alive! She’s not a ghost!

AURELIUS: Ti-minou?

ELEANOR: It was her nickname for me, only she would know that! Natalia? [SFX: standing up] NATALIA?

AURELIUS: [sharp] Do you have a message from Natalia, spirit? [SFX: the noise on the headphones gets loud and feedback-y and Grace rips them off]

GRACE: Shit! I don’t know what that was, but it didn’t feel like a traditional ghost-

ELEANOR: NO! WHERE DID SHE GO?

GRACE: What happened?

ELEANOR: Natalia? Are you ok? Please, I want to speak with you! [SFX: footsteps and spooky whispers in the background] 

GRACE: The mirrors breaking-

ELEANOR: Look and see… The mirror! There’s still one in the bedroom, in the closet- [SFX: she takes off]

GRACE: Aurelius, you going to stay here or follow?

AURELIUS: Follow, I want to see how this turns out!

GRACE: Then come on. [SFX: they take off and catch up to her] 

GRACE_NARRATION: As we enter the bedroom, I see Eleanor sitting on the floor, in front of a mirror that had clearly been previously covered with a sheet that’s been tossed aside. She has her hand placed against the mirror’s surface. The image wobbles as if in a heat haze but it’s not Eleanor reflected back, it’s… a different person. A muscled woman with long legs, a sturdy torso, strong shoulders… and most curiously, two horns spiraling from her forehead, like a ram. As if breaking through ice, her fingers escape the mirror’s surface and intertwine with Eleanor’s, although the glass around it is beginning to crack and spiderweb.

ELEANOR: Natalia, I don’t understand.

NATALIA: [in the mirror, echoing] I didn’t think you’d want to see me this way. I should’ve been more honest from minute one. That I could come back…

ELEANOR: They’re… they’re… interesting. Sorry, that’s… it’s a lot to take in at once. You’re… you’re… beautiful. I thought I would only see you again in sleep, but-

NATALIA: I’m here, I’ve always been here. I just… wasn’t able to be here in the right way.

ELEANOR: I love you, I promise.

NATALIA: I promise, always and forever.

ELEANOR: Come home, that’s all I want. [SFX: there’s a static hissing and the mirror shatters]

GRACE_NARRATION: The mirror shatters and Natalia walks through, an imposing figure that billows shadow behind her, wreathing her in darkness for a moment, turning her into nothing more than a shape. It’s only when Natalia stands before us in the stark relief of the waking world that I understand: she is a sleep demon. A piece of the conscious and unconscious world that moves like a penumbra through both. How long she must have hidden that…

NATALIA: Remember when I told you that my mother lived in a different world? I meant that literally. I’m so sorry, I knew the change would happen to me eventually, but I didn’t know how to tell you. I… I thought I would have more time. And…

ELEANOR: I mean you always described your mom as a little different-

NATALIA: She was like this. And she called me back home to become what I was always meant to be. And… I didn’t know how to tell you.

ELEANOR: … I thought she lived in Vancouver.

NATALIA: She does, but also… she resided in many places. One walker of dreams passes and the other… takes their place. And so do I now. I was never meant to be gone this long. The dream realm plays tricks and… I lost my way. There is so much shadow. You forget about the feeling of real sunlight. But I never stopped thinking about your touch. I never stopped thinking about you. Dreaming of it. All I ever wanted to do was come home to you.

ELEANOR: Dreams felt like the only place I could find you… Is this who… what you truly are?

NATALIA: [quietly] Yes. I should’ve never hidden it from you. You must hate me. I’m… I’m a monster-

ELEANOR: No. No, you’re… you’re different, but… I… Nat, I can see you now. [SFX: They embrace]

GRACE_NARRATION: Natalia almost towers over Eleanor as she steps towards her, but there is only softness in her movements. Sleep demons… Mortals often see sleep demons in the liminal space between waking and sleep. They feed on the energy of dreams and nightmares, but they are neither inherently good nor bad. Their line is matriarchal – a sleep demon might present as human until their mother sees fit to pass on their powers. It’s rare, but I know of at least one case where a woman thought that she was human until her mother passed. Evidently, Natalia knew the day would come when she would have to reckon with her origins, but she thought she would have more time. I know the feeling.

NATALIA: I… know you have questions. I can explain everything. But what I am-

ELEANOR: We can… talk about this? How open to questions are you?

NATALIA: I should be more honest about what’s going on.

ELEANOR: … Do the horns keep growing or…

NATALIA: Let’s discuss that later.

AURELIUS: Can I tell you ladies something? Secrets are terrible. Don’t keep them! It’ll only turn your heart into a slurry that sluices through your ribs and onto the floor, where someone can use that to… slide away into someone else’s arms. A disgusting lubricant that he can just do whatever-

GRACE: I think we should leave them to talk privately.

AURELIUS: I’m only offering advice! And consider couples therapy sooner rather than later if something feels off!

GRACE: Now, please.

AURELIUS: Apologies. I’m feeling a little raw.

ELEANOR: Yeah, are you ok?

AURELIUS: [sigh] We’ll leave you to your business.

 

[SFX: transition. Office]

 

BEA: Did you call her?

RHYS: I left a message.

BEA: Ok. Are you going to stay here, or should I post a help wanted ad on LinkedIn?

RHYS: [sigh] I’m staying. Am I supposed to go find a new vampire… coven somewhere else? I don’t know if that’s the right word.

BEA: It’s fine. And I’d prefer it if you stayed.

RHYS: What is it like for you? In a new body.

BEA: … It’s odd. But I’m more used to it. It’s like… waking up in my 20s when my body was at its best and the least sore and I felt invincible. Except I’m carrying the weight of all those years still, just in my mind. My shoulders don’t hurt in the same way anymore, but I still have… phantom pains. How about you?

RHYS: I feel… still like me. Maybe I was so gung ho because it was just another type of escaping. But I’m still in here, still me. It’s the only thing I can’t run from.

BEA: It’s true. But… Rhys, I think it’s ok if you rest. You’re allowed to stop. I think it’s time that you do.

 

[SFX: transition. Bea and Grace are on the couch at Bea’s]

 

BEA: I kind of assumed that a sleep demon was like… an evil entity.

GRACE: [scoffs] Evil doesn’t exist as a static entity. That’s just something people say to relieve them of responsibility for their own actions.

BEA: You’re sexy when you philosophize at me.

GRACE: [laughs] What I mean to say is that sleep demons do feed off the energy of mortal’s dreams… and nightmares. But just like humans, and vampires, their kind is neither inherently evil nor inherently good. They just… are. We are not the circumstances of our birth. We choose who we are.

BEA: That’s a nice thought.

GRACE_NARRATION: What I don’t say is that I am, in part, a product of the circumstances of my creation and subsequent, for lack of a better term, “upbringing.” Still, I need to believe that I can choose to be more than Lennox’s fledgling. But sometimes… We spent a few years in California, him and I. The thing I remember most of all is the Cypress trees that grew next to the ocean, their trunks twisted as though bent in an endless gale. At first I assumed that they had grown normally, and then been shaped by the world around it, but I realized that a Cypress tree does not bend after it is grown, it grows to suit its environment. It grows in a way that optimizes its own survival. I think, in a way, Lennox was my environment. And as I grew, I became… bent, shaped by his nature. But I have been… replanted, in a sense. A new environment. That has to count for something.

BEA: Grace?

GRACE: Yes?

BEA: I lost you there.

GRACE: Sorry, just… thinking.

BEA: About anything in particular?

GRACE: No, just… lost in a little daydream. That’s all.

 

[SFX: transition. Rhys is back at the vampire bar]

 

HOLLIS: [comes up behind him] Ah, drinking alone again I see. Bad day?

RHYS: Not in the mood if you’re going to be… your usual self.

HOLLIS: I can be nice. Or, nicer.

RHYS: I’ll believe that when I see it.

HOLLIS: Like I’ve said, I enjoy that you survived. It’s a novelty for me. Means you can take a beating.

RHYS: Wow, thanks, let’s not test the limits of that.

HOLLIS: [SFX: sits down beside him] Can I be frank?

RHYS: Are you ever not?

HOLLIS: You look like you need to blow off some steam. I have been looking for an outlet.

RHYS: Are you… propositioning me?

HOLLIS: Yes. Would you like it to be more explicit?

RHYS: Uh… no? I’m just… surprised.

HOLLIS: Why?

RHYS: … our interactions before have been less than favourable in my direction.

HOLLIS: Yes, but you’re… interesting. And I like a man I can throw around. [pause] I’m not here looking for a boyfriend. I’m looking for a place to release some energy. You’re having a bad time? So am I. Mutually assured destruction is as good a reason as any to make an… interesting choice.

RHYS: Do you want to talk about it?

HOLLIS: Do you?

RHYS: No. … I don’t trust you.

HOLLIS: We could fuck in a bungalow if that would make you feel safer. No stairs.

RHYS: … you seem serious.

HOLLIS: I am.

RHYS: Why?

HOLLIS: Maybe I need a friend.

RHYS: I don’t think we’re there yet.

HOLLIS: Then maybe I’m just looking for a little warmth, is that better?

RHYS: I mean, I guess. Are you just following me around because you want to get with me?

HOLLIS: At first it was curiosity, but then I saw the muscles on your forearms and I thought, “You know what? Seems like a good time.”

RHYS_NARRATION: Every part of me is saying to get out of here. To not get involved. To not make the kind of choice that would definitely have Bea and/or Grace at my throat. Hollis is… pretty damn scary. But… you ever stood at the edge of a cliff and thought about what it would be like to just step off? You know it’s bad. But… that voice still says hey man, do the stupid thing. I hear that voice right now. And they’re looking at their long, strong fingers and I keep noticing the way their neck meets their clavicle and it is a welcome distraction after signing those papers. Bea took them afterwards. I couldn’t face Michelle. I couldn’t face anyone. I could barely look Bea in the eyes as I handed them over. I didn’t lie when I told Hollis that being a vampire doesn’t feel weird or hard or bad, but being a human did. And that part is still following me. Becoming something different… it doesn’t change the past. I will still atone for it. But I want literally anything other than the memory of that moment, of these last few days, of… so many things. I’m not running anymore, even if there’s still a part of me that wants to. And I know I should right now from this place. But after the last few days I am ready to step into the void.

RHYS: I… uh…

HOLLIS: Would you prefer to have a conversation beforehand?

RHYS: I mean… [thinks] Fuck it, you know what? Can’t hurt.

HOLLIS: Yes it can.

RHYS: Well yeah, but that’s half the fun.

 

[SFX: transition. Bea is dreaming and we enter the dream]

 

BEA_NARRATION: In the dream, Lennox sits at his desk, staring across it at me.

LENNOX: I’ll ask you again, how safe do you think you are?

BEA: From you? Not at all.

LENNOX: I’m the least of your worries. The secret gets out, there will be much more… unscrupulous people after you.

BEA: So give me advice or let me rest.

LENNOX: You actually want my help?

BEA: Sure. O terrifying spooky oracle, what shall I do?

LENNOX: You could practice. I can’t compel you here, but I could out there.

BEA: Grace is stronger than you.

LENNOX: And… what, you’re going to be attached to her at all times? You and I both know that there will come a day when you are alone and you have to deal with things without your saviour, rushing in to get you from whatever peril has befallen you.

BEA: … Practice what?

LENNOX: Your powers are likely… more than they seem. And compels can be… resisted, at least a little. It can help. But you only do that with practice. Besides, you have quite a strong partner. She should be able to put you through your paces. In more ways than one. [chuckles] The scowl, very cute.

BEA: You want me to be able to resist you?

LENNOX: I don’t think you could, but the challenge would be nice.

BEA: Gross. Let me rest.

LENNOX: The world will not wait for you.

BEA: I’ll figure it out.

LENNOX: What about Grace?

BEA: You stay away from her.

LENNOX: You could always come ask me for help outside of here.

BEA: Pass.

LENNOX: Well, offer stands. Would love to get to know you better.

BEA: That’s not happening.

LENNOX: Heh. Rest on it. But know that there will come a day when you’ll need more than just Grace at your side. You’ll want to make all the friends you can get. [SFX: the dream ends and we return to Bea in bed. She sits up]

GRACE: [sleepily] Mmm… come here.

BEA: … right. [sighs and curls up beside her again]

 

[end]

Credits

Featuring the voices of:

Emily Kellogg as Grace
Alex Nursall as Bea
Ian Boddy as Rhys
Rob Deobald as Lennox
J Strautman as Hollis
Taylor Davis as Aurelius
Motzie Dapul as Eleanor
and Alexa Morgan as the Natalia

Woodbine is an original podcast created, written, and produced by Alex Nursall and Emily
This episode was written and directed by Alex Nursall
Production and promotion by Emily Kellogg
Engineering and sound design by Ian Boddy
Theme by Phil Wright
Music by Phil Wright and Ian Boddy
Recorded at Pirate Sound
Artwork by Andy Kelly
Distributed by Realm