Woodbine

Summary

The only way to keep a secret is to tell no one. The second you tell another person, it’s out and it has a life of its own. Grace’s secret is carried in Bea, but the shadow it casts is spreading. Lennox knows this and he’ll use it to his advantage, she knows that. But he’s not the only one who knows, and the shadow grows longer and longer and touches more and more. Oh, and just a reminder that the AGM is coming up, so hope to see you there! You will have to be there. You wouldn’t want people talking now, would you?

Content Warnings: N/A

Transcript

[SFX: The necropolis. A creaking gate shuts and Hollis locks it, walking away]

 

HOLLIS_NARRATION: The first time I used my powers, it was by accident. Lennox had left me to find my way back from a particularly bad encounter we had with some… less than savoury characters. Back then, it wasn’t business, it was just survival, and Grace and I were taught to survive through Lennox’s own… distorted love. See, he had sent me to collect money from some vampiric associates and they didn’t want to pay. I ended up killing most of them, but I was overwhelmed. And I almost didn’t make it out. It was… terrifying. In my panic, in the last moments before I knew the man standing above me would crush my skull and leave me a broken husk, I could think of nothing but the only place I knew as mine. My mind filled only with thoughts of the house I shared with Lennox and Grace at the time, of the quiet spot in the backyard where I would read into the early morning, as the sun quietly made its way over the horizon, shooing me back in. It was so peaceful. And it was mine. I thought it would be the last thing I’d see before unending darkness, but… there was a feeling as if I was moving through fine sand, being poured through an invisible hourglass, and then… I suddenly found myself there. Injured, yeah. But I was home. And I lay in the grass until the barest edges of morning started to creep in. As the sun touched my skin and pain began to settle, I knew it was real. I was never as strong as Lennox, never as convincing as Grace. Second child, in every way. But now I had something. A power that was mine that meant that I could not be held back, held down. I could go wherever I wanted. I was free. And Lennox, aware of what that meant, offered his support in my new abilities, if only because he knew how to use them to his advantage. But he promised, he always promised that no matter what, I would retain that freedom. That because where my strength lied was in that ability to run, that he would not hold me back. The freedom meant that I would stay. Safety, in a cage with the door left open.

Now, I am being watched. A mark on my skin and soul that tells him where I am at all times, and my world has grown small.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could go back to that place, that small section of the garden. That house burned down a long time ago, a bigger, more ostentatious one built on top of it, Lennox’s luxurious residence where, of course, he lives alone. But I still think about it, when it was mine. When I first found the freedom that no one would take.   

 

[SFX: transition. Office]

 

BEA: Rhys, did someone call you about a ghoul biting them?

RHYS: Yeah, why?

BEA: Do you think it was the same one that followed us?

RHYS: I assume so, how many more could there be? Do they like… reproduce?

GRACE: [SFX: walking in] If you’re hearing things about ghouls, then I need to speak with the Maestro.

BEA: If his experiments – his highly unethical ones, mind you – are escaping, then he truly does need better security.

GRACE: I did let him know that you suggested upgrades to his system. I’m sure something will be figured out.

BEA: Anyway, ghouls. Some werewolf out on Greenwood got bitten last week. Can that double-turn them? Like a ghoulwolf?

GRACE: Thank you for getting the naming convention correct. And no, that’s not exactly how that works. [SFX: picks up an envelope] What’s this?

RHYS: You got mail. Ancient looking mail.

BEA: Do I dare ask who’s sending you heavy black envelopes with a wax seal? I mean, loving the aesthetic, but-

GRACE: [SFX: picks off wax seal and opens it, sighs] As I assumed. Invite to the Annual General Meeting for board members and shareholders for Emiel. Why are these always such productions?

BEA: Sounds boring and also possibly deadly. Don’t go.

GRACE: I haven’t in years, I’ve just sat on my shares. But…

BEA: You can’t seriously be considering going.

GRACE: [shrug] Maybe it’s time I make myself known again. Now that Lennox is breathing down our necks.

RHYS: Sounds ominous.

GRACE: Ok, let me try that again. [perkier] I should make myself known again!

RHYS: Much better.

BEA: I mean, I can’t stop you, but I just…

GRACE: I’m just… going to think about it for now. And we’ll go from there.

 

[SFX: A quiet, fancy restaurant]

 

BOB: [to server] I’ll take another daiquiri. B negative this time. Thank you. [SFX: server walks away]

LENNOX: I don’t know how you drink those things.

BOB: They’re nice! They’re like… sunlight in a glass. I think. Brightness, as a beverage.

LENNOX: Well, to each their own.

BOB: You need to find something that brings you joy.

LENNOX: I have. I have many things that bring me various flavours of joy. Some of them are even things I would bring up in mixed company.

BOB: May I say something?

LENNOX: Sure.

BOB: You seem wound up. More than usual. Which is…

LENNOX: Concerning?

BOB: No, that would require a different emotion. Interesting, I’ll go with.

LENNOX: Wouldn’t you be if you were staring down a group of vampires demanding that you find a way to expand the population?

BOB: Ah, still no luck?

LENNOX: I have some ideas but… nothing that I want to move on yet.

BOB: Hm. Do these ideas have to do with anyone in particular?

LENNOX: Not something I’m willing to discuss right now.

BOB: [quiet] You don’t think I hadn’t noticed how new Bea smells? Age has not found her yet. No one has been that new for so long. Grace’s eyes sweeping over her like clouds above the valley. Hearts beating harder, faster. Grace, she’d devour anyone who got too close to her. Of course, I’m only guessing. But Grace? A new vampire in her care.

LENNOX: Bob, you know as well as I do what that knowledge getting out could mean.

BOB: A bloodbath. Or… freedom for all of us. But at what cost? More than I think you’d be willing to pay.

LENNOX: Hobbies, Bob. Not sentimentality.

BOB: One can really grow to enjoy their hobbies.

LENNOX: Oh come on, you can’t tell me that you’ve never… engaged in a little questionable behavior.

BOB: I’m not judging you for it-

LENNOX: Not sure I believe that.

BOB: I’m only inquiring to make sure you know exactly what you’re dipping your fingers into.

LENNOX: Your concern is noted.

BOB: [SFX: takes a drink] I have… other concerns.

LENNOX: I’m glad you finally agreed to meet up for dinner only to speak to me like a reluctant teenager who needs to choose their college major.

BOB: How long have you been running Emiel?

LENNOX: A lot longer than I care to think about sometimes.

BOB: And it’s still fulfilling? Still… interesting to you?

LENNOX: I find ways to make it work. Why are you asking? You want to be an intern?

BOB: Lennox, I think you should look at your future. You can’t do this forever.

LENNOX: Who on the board have you been talking to?

BOB: No one! I just see it in your eyes-

LENNOX: Should’ve worn sunglasses.

BOB: You’re distracted.

LENNOX: A man can have hobbies.

BOB: … you’re bored! Lennox Rufus Marlowe, you are as bored as the night is long with this job.

LENNOX: And what does that matter? You spent 200 years in a castle with no internet.

BOB: And my library is all the better for it. Tell me, what excites you these days?

LENNOX: There’s a possible merger on the table with a small firm-

BOB: UGGGH, BORING. And you know it’s boring. Tedious! I have to ask, is there anything that gets you, for lack of a better term, going? What gets the blood flowing these days?

LENNOX: I’ve been… exploring my options as of late.

BOB: I know you’ve been bothering Grace.

LENNOX: Word gets around fast.

BOB: Our community is tight.

LENNOX: And she’s barely a part of it.

BOB: If that is your hobby then I’m-

LENNOX: No, you don’t get to call me on this one. I know your history with your exes.

BOB: … Fair. A good point, but I have taken some time to sand down some of my more… questionable and problematic tendencies.

LENNOX: Yeah, now that I know what your ex looks like I know to keep anyone who looks like her away from you.

BOB: Oh, you make a mistake one, seven times!

LENNOX: I’m just saying that this is one of these pot-kettle situations.

BOB: I think the youth call it a bong now.

LENNOX: No, it’s an idiom-… never mind.

BOB: Look, I’m not saying that you should abdicate tomorrow, I’m saying that you should consider a future that’s wider than this city. Than that building. You speak of me in a castle? Pot meets bong.

LENNOX: Gives a whole new meaning to going up in smoke…

BOB: What do you want, Lennox? Other than to rule. Do you even want that? Or do you just want what you can’t have?

LENNOX: Your daiquiri is melting.

BOB: It is always a risk getting a tiki drink. But it’s one I like to take wherever I can.

LENNOX: I want to have fun. That’s what I want.

BOB: Have you considered golf?

LENNOX: I did, once. Are you inviting me to Florida?

BOB: Ah, no, I sold the place. Not for me. I’ve instead invested in a lovely place in Spain.

LENNOX: I will say, it’s very tempting to move back by the ocean.

BOB: Think about it. I won’t tell you how to deal with your… hobbies. Those attachments run deep; they are fissures in your mind. But mind your step. I think you are liable to fall in.

LENNOX: Just pick an appetizer already.

 

[SFX: transition. Hollis’s office in the necropolis]

 

HOLLIS: You’re sure?

MICHAEL: Yeah, according to the files from the Maestro, if you have some sort of… focus, you can control them.

HOLLIS: Did it specify what was needed?

MICHAEL: There’s a few. The Hand of Trillithaneus, uh, apparently destroyed in 1507. The golden staff of Agnes, also lost. There’s a type of blood gem that can work, though.

HOLLIS: [SFX: drumming fingers on desk] Blood gem, hm. I’ve heard of those. Do you have a photo?

MICHAEL: Yeah, it’s a big mean looking red rock. Pretty, if you are into that kind of thing.

HOLLIS: I am. Michael, you don’t have full clearance in the storage catacombs, do you?

MICHAEL: I do not.

HOLLIS: And Lennox won’t approve that in time for either of us. Hm. Alright, I need to make a few calls.

 

[SFX: transition. Grace’s living room. Her phone buzzes]

 

BEA: I thought he was out for dinner.

GRACE: Yeah, he texted me a photo.

BEA: [SFX: leans over to look] … I didn’t know you could spherify blood, but… why am I surprised anymore.

GRACE: He does love a caviar.

BEA: You’re weirdly casual about all of this.

GRACE: [sighs] It’s just a photo. That’s… fine.

BEA: And you’re not going to… rage about it a little? Have him ruin our night by double texting you?

GRACE: He didn’t double text me. [SFX: phone buzzes again] Damnit.

BEA: [SFX: she straddles her] What if we just leave?

GRACE: Here or in general?

BEA: In general.

GRACE: You think I haven’t tried that?

BEA: I know. I’m just…

GRACE: It’s… we’ll figure something out.

BEA: … Why are you so calm right now?

GRACE: I’m fine.

BEA: Are you hiding something?

GRACE: I am not.

BEA: Something feels… wrong. Something’s chewing at the back of my neck. Grace, what’s going on? Lennox is in my dreams, he’s pushing me to “work on” my abilities-

GRACE: I know it feels… [sigh] Bea, I will help you find a way to get him out of your mind. There’s ways, it’s just… god, I don’t know. You get used to it! I’ve… I’ve been in this too long. And now you’re in it. I’ve fucked up-

BEA: Grace, there has to be a way to stop him-

GRACE: It’s not that simple! It never is and it never was. He’s… it’s not just that he’s strong. He is, don’t get me wrong. He’s like a horrible onion of power. But he has money and clout and protection and if I could just rip his head off, I would’ve done it years ago. But-

BEA: It’s ok to be scared.

GRACE: I know that!

BEA: I’m not saying you are! I just-

GRACE: No, no, I am. I have been for years, that’s… just always been there. But he’s more than just a man, he’s… a force. One I can’t just expel from my mind, because it’s… a scar.

BEA: Grace… talk to me.

GRACE: I just need some time. [steeling herself, putting a smile back on] But it’ll be ok. It’ll be ok! And I don’t trust him requesting you to work on your abilities, but he’s… not wrong. So… I want you to be prepared. For him, for what he can do. I just don’t know what his endgame is.

BEA: It… it feels like you’re… resigning yourself to it.

GRACE: No! No, of course not, never. Bea, I don’t want this for us, I really don’t. I just need time.

BEA: Do you want to talk about it?

GRACE: No. Not right now.

BEA: … ok, alright.

GRACE: [she nuzzles into her] Let’s just watch the movie, ok? [SFX: tiny compel] Wouldn’t you like to kiss me?

BEA: Oh, that’s very mean of you… but you’re not wrong…

 

[SFX: Rhys’s apartment. He’s in the kitchen]

 

RHYS: Ok and… turn invisible! … Did it work?

AURELIUS: No.

RHYS: Fuck. Uh… if I concentrate hard… does anything happen?

AURELIUS: Your face is a little more red.

RHYS: Come on.

AURELIUS: You can’t force it.

RHYS: I know. I just… there has to be another power or something, right? Like Grace and Bea have other abilities.

AURELIUS: Yes, but theirs came about naturally. They weren’t standing there going “ka-pow!”

RHYS: I mean, it can’t hurt.

AURELIUS: No, but it looks very silly.

RHYS: Thanks for coming over, at least.

AURELIUS: My pleasure. Staying out of the house helps keep me sane. And this is… very entertaining! I must say, Grace and Bea were right about you.

RHYS: That I’m a natural?

AURELIUS: Yes, among other adjectives.

RHYS: I wonder if I can do the compel thing.

AURELIUS: You can try on me, just as long as it’s nothing embarrassing.

RHYS: Really? Ok! Uh… [SFX: compel] Bring me that gatorade bottle.

AURELIUS: [dully] Ok. [SFX: he hands it to him, the compel wears off] Oh, gross, you put blood in here?

RHYS: [SFX: takes it] And red Gatorade.

AURELIUS: Well, you can do it. But you’re not as strong as Grace, I’ll give you that.

RHYS: Damnit. Alright, let’s see if I can do something else.

AURELIUS: [amused] Let’s.

 

[SFX: transition. Voicemail]

 

WILHELMINA: Hello Lennox, it’s Monday at 11:42 PM. I wanted to speak to you about the order of events for the General Meeting coming up. I believe there’s an outstanding request here for tablecloths? I know we did satin a few years ago but I think that can be updated, from what I hear that’s quite behind the times. Can you please call me when you have the chance? Myself and several other board members are concerned that there will not be a lot to show to the shareholders. I’m looking for an update on any solutions or upcoming experiments you might have for our population issue that can be presented to the team. Also, I’ve heard rumours that you’re looking at hiring Grace Hawthorne back? I’m aware that this is just hearsay but wanted to inquire. If that is on the table, then I think it is time that she attends one of the AGMs. Thank you. Good bye.

 

[SFX: Transition. Hollis’s desk]

 

HOLLIS_NARRATION: When do you make the move to leave? When you start having to ask permission. When the weight of them presses on you unwanted. When you finally realize that the door has been shut. It just wasn’t locked before.

Do I want Lennox’s approval? I don’t know. I mean, not in the same way that he offers it to Grace, that is… smothering. And I have always valued my independence. But Grace is… she is many things. She is powerful but pliable, and always searching. Searching for an escape, searching for love, searching for freedom, searching for a place to rest. Lennox’s obsession. He wants what he can’t have, what he can’t buy, or acquire, or dominate, or lock away for no one to see. [sigh] I do not envy Grace. She knows what could happen.

I would be worried though, if I were Bea. For many reasons.

LENNOX: [SFX: walks in, puts coat down] Hollis.

HOLLIS: Lennox. How is Bob?

LENNOX: The same. Did you hear back from Bill?

HOLLIS: No, but Bill never responds in a timely manner, so I guess that’s not surprising.

LENNOX: You live long enough, schedules mean nothing.

HOLLIS: What did he want to talk to you about?

LENNOX: Bill or Bob?

HOLLIS: We have got to stop letting these guys pick such regular names.

LENNOX: Bob is concerned that my heart isn’t in it these days.

HOLLIS: Is it?

LENNOX: After all these years? It’s a just a job, Hollis.

HOLLIS: So why keep doing it then?

LENNOX: What, am I supposed to go start my passion project and… sell art on the beach in Mallorca?

HOLLIS: That’s weirdly specific.

LENNOX: Bob’s thinking about spending some time in Spain, it’s on my mind.

HOLLIS: Ah.

LENNOX: What do you think?

HOLLIS: How honest do you want me to be?

LENNOX: I’m curious how far you’re willing to go.

HOLLIS: Ok. I think you’re losing touch. I think you’re focusing too much on keeping Grace safe. Let’s see: I think you’re trying to mold Bea into a replacement. Or you’re just looking for another plaything. You’re trying to recapture a thing that’s long gone that maybe was never real. And now you’re here.

LENNOX: Too mean.

HOLLIS: I’m not apologizing.

LENNOX: [SFX: walks over] Why do you hate Grace so much?

HOLLIS: It’s not her I hate.

LENNOX: And Bea?

HOLLIS: Your new toy?

LENNOX: Would you rather it be you?

HOLLIS: I haven’t felt that way in a long time.

LENNOX: Hollis, you still have such a place in my heart.

HOLLIS: Unfortunately.

LENNOX: You’ve been good though. Staying on your usual schedule. That must bore you.

HOLLIS: Stop watching me.

LENNOX: Eventually.

HOLLIS: I’m sure Bea’s out there somewhere taking a nap. Go punish her with your presence.

LENNOX: I have to admit, it has been fun.

HOLLIS: I’m sure Grace is a fan.

LENNOX: Grace will understand in time.

HOLLIS: I heard that before too. If you excuse me, I have other things to go deal with. There’s about 40 letters from the board in your inbox, perhaps you should deal with those lest the meeting on the 29th turn into a disaster. More so, frankly-

LENNOX: If I don’t tell them about Grace, yes, I know.

HOLLIS: [sarcastic] Oh, no, I was going to say if the canapés don’t follow the exact culinary story they requested.

LENNOX: Very funny. Don’t stray too far.

HOLLIS_NARRATION: My skin crawls when he says that. A bird in a cage, exhausted from trying to squeeze through the bars.

LENNOX: Tell me you still care.

HOLLIS: I’ll tell you whatever you need to hear.

 

[SFX: Grace’s house. Living room]

 

GRACE: [SFX: compel] Bow to me.

BEA: Hnnghh… nope… going to…

GRACE: [SFX: compel] Bow. 

BEA: Nnnhhhggg… no… oh god…

GRACE: [SFX: stronger compel] My love, you want nothing more than to bow before me.

BEA: [struggling] GAH! [SFX: she throws herself backwards] Owww… why…

GRACE: No, that’s fantastic! You’re getting so much better at this!

BEA: Yeah, but at what cost? [SFX: getting up slowly] I think I cracked something.

GRACE: You’ll be fine.

BEA: My love?

GRACE: … Sorry, is that weird? It’s been… a long time-

BEA: No, no, I… I like it. It’s… it sounds good, coming from you.

GRACE: Well, if it’s ok…

BEA: I mean, I don’t plan to stop you.

GRACE: Let’s take a break. [SFX: phone buzzing] Oh, [SFX: grabs it] yeah… [SFX: answers] Hello? Sorry, Bea, I just need to deal with this.

BEA: … Uh, yeah, ok.

GRACE: [SFX: walks away, we follow her, door closes] What’s going on? Why are you calling now?

HOLLIS: [phone] The board meeting is coming up.

GRACE: I am aware.

HOLLIS: [phone] I know you were invited, but I think you should be there. Lennox is going to bug you anyway. He wants to show you off.

GRACE: Shit.

HOLLIS: [phone] You’ve been MIA for years. If you want them to take you seriously, if I say that you’re trying to help me remove Lennox from his perch to anyone on the inside, then you should show face.

GRACE: He’ll take it as a sign that I’m giving in to him.

HOLLIS: [phone] It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

GRACE: Wow, thanks for that.

HOLLIS: [phone] [sigh] Grace, I… I need this, ok? I need to get him out almost as much as you do at this point.

GRACE: You sound sincere.

HOLLIS: [phone] Damn. I should work on that.

GRACE: Let me think on it.

HOLLIS: [phone] Do it quick, because I know he’ll be in touch sooner rather than later. [SFX: noise from somewhere in the room] I have to go.

GRACE: Ok, bye- [SFX: Hollis hangs up on them] They keep doing that! Ugh! [SFX: she walks back out]

BEA: Who were you talking to?

GRACE: Does it matter?

BEA: Yes.

GRACE: … Hollis.

BEA: Ooh, uh, ok, that sounds questionable.

GRACE: It is.

BEA: Can I ask why you are doing it, then?

GRACE: They’re also dealing with Lennox and need… advice.

BEA: I thought you guys were on the outs.

GRACE: Somewhat, but we both know him better than anyone else still alive, at least.

BEA: Right. What were they asking about?

GRACE: Just what to do with his… moods.

BEA: Do you want to elaborate?

GRACE: Later.

BEA: Ok, but you have to actually tell me this time.

GRACE: I will, this is… difficult for me.

BEA: I know, I understand, but… let me help.

GRACE: I know. I will let you help, I promise. In due time. When I’m ready.

 

[SFX: transition. Hollis at their office, furious typing in the background from the Hacker]

 

HOLLIS_NARRATION: Weeks continue to pass. You get older but time feels rubbery, stretching and compressing until you care so little about what day it might be. Sometimes, I have these moments where I wonder what, of all people, Bea thinks of how time changes in this form. She’s been in it for long enough now to have felt it settle. Does she notice how the nights lengthen, how the day becomes an untouchable spectre? Does she hunger for more than flesh and blood? I don’t miss the sun. I was always a bit of a homebody, somewhat ironically.

But sometimes, I have incredible cravings for brunch. There are very few places that serve good eggs with pig blood. It’s as close as I can get now to enjoying a hollandaise. Shame, really.

GRACE: [phone] So you’re speaking to the board in advance?

HOLLIS: I know Wilhelmina is. I can only get so close to them. Literally and figuratively.

GRACE: [phone] I don’t think we can trust them.

HOLLIS: Then we might have to fight our way out.

GRACE: [phone] Unappealing to say the least.

HOLLIS: Michael is doing some recruiting for me.

GRACE: [phone] Who?

HOLLIS: Whoever he can find. And I think… I’ve got some ideas.

GRACE: [phone] You sound like someone considering bloodshed. Are you trying to turn this into a fight?

HOLLIS: Lennox is… prone to violence.

GRACE: [phone] He’ll never let us rest.

HOLLIS: Take his power, take his money, take his security, take his seat. Offer him the option of leaving without bloodshed, then we can make a move to change things for the better.

HOLLIS_NARRATION: I want to humiliate him.

GRACE: [phone] And my predicament? Bea’s?

HOLLIS: We’ll talk about that afterwards.

GRACE: [phone] I’m tired of dancing around her.

HOLLIS: We’re in the home stretch.

GRACE: [phone] We damn well better be. She’s getting tense. Also, are you sleeping with Rhys?

HOLLIS: What’s it to you?

GRACE: If I had an HR I’d be filing a grievance.

HOLLIS: Well you don’t.

HACKER: Ah ha! 

HOLLIS: I have to go.

GRACE: [phone] Want to just hang up on me again?

HOLLIS: Alright. [SFX: hangs up] Hm. Any luck?

HACKER: [SFX: typing] I’m in.

HOLLIS: No need for theatrics.

HACKER: [SFX: more typing] I’ve gotta tell you, the cyber security of Emiel Holdings could use an audit.

HOLLIS: Noted. Just do what needs to be done and get out.

HACKER: And… done! Thank you for hiring [SFX: cape flourish] White Cape Hackers.

HOLLIS: Cute. My passcard now gets me into the lowest level of the basement storage area?

HACKER: Yep, and also into Lennox’s Netflix account.

HOLLIS: That was unneeded, but thank you. … You can go.

HACKER: Yep, yep. [SFX: they leave]

HOLLIS_NARRATION: Vampires are great about record keeping but bad about digitizing it, so I have been… leading that effort, alongside Lennox. He’s more willing to incorporate contemporary systems within the business, I’ll give him that. Moving away from yellowing hand-bound paper has been a real boon. So I had arranged a team years ago to go through the many holdings of this place, from the staff to the items that never see the light of day. Including maybe… some things that could be of use.

HOLLIS: Let’s see what’s stored down there. [SFX: clicking, typing] God, no one tell the museums about this place, we’ll be raided within days. Hm… ah. I was right.

HOLLIS_NARRATION: The Maestro isn’t the only collector in town. You live long enough, you will amass as much as you possibly can, a world of small objects of great power, value, or destructive force. I don’t even think Lennox knows what he has down there anymore. It’s all just stuff. I don’t think he understands what rests under our feet. [small laugh] You have to keep your records organized. You have to stay on top of these things. You can’t get distracted. It’ll ruin you.

 

[SFX: transition. Grace’s office]

 

LENNOX: [zoom] I really don’t understand why you’re making such a fuss about this. I’m asking for such a small, little thing.

GRACE: I cannot fathom why you would think I would agree to sit on the Emiel Holdings gala planning committee meeting.

LENNOX: [zoom] You RSVP’d, I assumed that meant you’d want a bigger role in the proceedings.

GRACE: I do still have a job, you know. I have clients. I don’t have time to discuss canapes with a group of vampires who still somehow think that canapes are relevant.

LENNOX: [zoom] Sorry, Wilhelmina is joining the call. [SFX: she’s added] Hello Wilhelmina. I hope your microphone works this time.

WILHELMINA: [zoom] It does, thank you. Grace, how are you?

GRACE: Wilhelmina, it’s been too long. I’m doing well.

WILHELMINA: [zoom] Good to hear. I was surprised to see that you’d be attending. Glad to know you’re taking an interest in things again. Although, I hope your sense of occasion has evolved since the gala of ‘98. I will never forget you suggesting that we serve sparkling wine from Niagara instead of champagne from France. It’s as though you were trying to sabotage us.

GRACE: Well, I thought it would be appropriate to stay local.

WILHELMINA: [zoom] It was not. Lennox tells me you’re looking to help?

LENNOX: [zoom] I merely suggested it!

GRACE: While I am… willing to offer a few thoughts, I cannot overextend myself as my time. I really am quite limited in capacity.

WILHELMINA: [zoom]  I’ll try to avoid taking up too much of your time, for we all know how precious it is. [SFX: a large binder opens] Now, first off, I need your advice on colours for tablecloths. I worry that black makes us look like we’re trying to hide stains. Should we perhaps consider a light grey?

GRACE: [sigh] This could’ve been an email.

 

[SFX: transition. Bea’s apartment]

 

BEA: Hey Rhys!

RHYS: Hey hey- [SFX: walks in, skin starts sizzles, he yells in pain] ahHHHHHHHH INVITE ME IN INVITE ME IN!!

BEA: Oh jeez! Rhys, come in! Please! You’re welcome!

RHYS: [SFX: the sizzling stops] Ahhh, man, that STINGS.

BEA: Sorry, sorry, I forgot. I… don’t have a lot of vampires over. Or people in general these days.

RHYS: [looking around] It’s fine, I probably would’ve done the same thing. Hey, this place is gorgeous.

BEA: Aw, thank you. I bought it after both sets of grandparents and my uncle died. Was there trauma involved in that? Yes, it all feels bad. But… Toronto house market doesn’t care where the money came from, as long as you have it. Anyway, that’s bleak. Can I get you anything?

RHYS: I’m good.

BEA: How was the client?

RHYS: [SFX: sits down] You ever interviewed a gelatinous cube?

BEA: No.

RHYS: It’s hard!

BEA: I thought it was gelatinous.

RHYS: Ha ha ha, very funny. [SFX: puts his foot up on the table] He dissolved my shoe.

BEA: Yikes. Do gelatinous cubes have genders?

RHYS: I mean it said that on his ID. But yeah, we’ll be following his business partner to see if he’s cheating him out of money.

BEA: Another cube? [SFX: opens file] Ah, no. Plasmoid.

RHYS: Guess I’ll-

BEA: [quickly overtop] Have to stick to him, ah ha!

RHYS: –stick to him, yeah you get it.

BEA: It was too easy.

RHYS: What’s Grace up to?

BEA: [sigh] She’s… meeting up with Hollis.

RHYS: Huh.

BEA: If I’m the only one NOT sleeping with them-

RHYS: You said you wouldn’t be weird about it!

BEA: I said I’d try. I get to be a little bit weird. They’re off… talking. Doing something.

RHYS: Bea, I think…

BEA: Yeah?

RHYS: … I don’t know. I don’t know what I think.

BEA: Right. [sigh] 

 

[SFX: transition. Hollis’s office]

 

HOLLIS_NARRATION: Power is more than physical strength, more than the ability to hurt others, more than brute force. Anyone can carry a gun and demand attention, fealty. True power lies in the ability to do it bare handed, with a smile, a look, the gnawing realization that if you fight back against them, that they will not even have to lift a finger to hurt you. Lennox has consolidated this through the years. He’s a bastard, he’s always been a bastard, but being nice gets you… what, exactly? A one bedroom condo? Happy birthday texts? Lennox… he’s… I can’t say that I haven’t learned from him, but I have watched through the years as he’s made this place his own. You make money, you buy land, friends, businesses, allies, even the respect of enemies. The board, do they like him? Doesn’t matter. He kept them safe. So I need to tear down those supports. I need to destabilize him.

Maybe I die trying. What a way to go. But I have ideas of how to avoid such a fate.

HOLLIS: You sure this thing will work?

THE MAESTRO: [phone] A focal point of power is what’s needed to control such… beasts. Although I want to reiterate-

HOLLIS: You hate it. That’s fine. You’re not the issue here.

THE MAESTRO: [phone] Where did you even find such a… priceless object of evil arcane power?

HOLLIS: Storage locker.

THE MAESTRO: [phone] That’s absurd! It should be in a reliquary!

HOLLIS: Well it wasn’t, it was in a basement. And now I have liberated it. Big fuck off staff, I like it.

THE MAESTRO: [phone] Oh, if I could only get my mechanical hands on it… I would love to see such a piece of inscrutable beauty…

HOLLIS: Maybe someday. Thanks for the info on how to gas this thing up-

THE MAESTRO: [phone] Imbue with magical radiance! Use the correct terminology, please!

HOLLIS: Noted. Big spooky stick now controls what I need it to control because it has evil blood gem power in it. [SFX: the Maestro scoffs] I saw in the notes that you used living bodies, but would the dead work?

THE MAESTRO: [phone] The dead?! Are you some sort of… ghoul?

HOLLIS: No, they would be. This is a hypothetical.

THE MAESTRO: [phone] Alas, I believe it would work, but you’d have to be some sort of… merciless nightmare to do such a horrendous thing-

HOLLIS: Yep, terrible idea. Thanks. [SFX: knock knock on the door] I have to go. Good bye. [SFX: he starts to say bye and Hollis hangs up on him] Come in.

LENNOX: [SFX: he enters] Have you heard from the florist?

HOLLIS: Yes, they didn’t appreciate the note on the overuse of black roses.

LENNOX: [sigh] I’ll admit, I don’t like having to stick to tradition during these things. I wish it could just be done in a single afternoon. Less pomp. Fewer dripping candles. Less red velvet.

HOLLIS: It’s a bit garish.

LENNOX: You’ve been quiet, lately.

HOLLIS: I’ve been busy.

LENNOX: Anything you want to tell me about?

HOLLIS_NARRATION: If you even go near my brain, I will burn this place to the ground.

HOLLIS: Nope.

LENNOX: My door is always open.

HOLLIS: I am aware.

LENNOX: I do appreciate you, Hollis. For everything you do. And have done.

HOLLIS: Don’t get soft with me.

LENNOX: Just… let me be kind for once.

HOLLIS: Fine.

LENNOX: You’ve stood by me for years. That means a lot.

HOLLIS: Ok.

LENNOX: Do you care?

HOLLIS: [sigh] Yes.

LENNOX: Well, then I wanted to let you know.

HOLLIS: Thank you.

LENNOX: I couldn’t do this without you.

HOLLIS: I know.

LENNOX: I assume you know Grace is coming as well.

HOLLIS: Yep.

LENNOX: [sigh] I’ll leave you be.

HOLLIS: Thank you.

HOLLIS_NARRATION: I have been at Lennox’s side for a long time. I don’t think about my life before because it wasn’t good. Not bad, nothing I had to escape from, just not worth it. Why stay mediocre when you can become better? Why settle? But I’ve been settling. I’ve stayed here for ages now, comfortable, allowing the world to weaken around me. And this is how I am thanked for years of service?

Grace can kill him if she wants and I’ll admit that I’ve thought about doing it myself, but that’s only a bonus as far as I’m concerned. Lennox has spent years upon years surrounded by money, power, protection, so much. I only want to watch it disappear. Maybe that’s petty. I don’t know anymore. But I do not want to live behind a closed door in a false darkness.

 

[SFX: transition. Event before the meeting]

 

HOLLIS: This whole thing could’ve been an email. [SFX: Wilhelmina approaches]

WILHELMINA: Hollis.

HOLLIS: Wilhelmina. How are you?

WILHELMINA: Oh you know, the days do go on. Excellent work on the drippy candles. They sputter beautifully.

HOLLIS: I think Grace picked them.

WILHELMINA: Huh. Did Lennox threaten her to be here?

HOLLIS: Not exactly. I did… talk to her about it.

WILHELMINA: You’re hiding something from me.

HOLLIS: All I will say is to keep an eye on Grace and Lennox. They bring out the worst in each other.

WILHELMINA: Sloppy. I like that. Is there something you want to tell me, Hollis?

HOLLIS: Yes, but… plausible deniability is always a bonus.

WILHELMINA: Understood. Enjoy your canapés. I’m going to… take a couple laps around the room. [SFX: she walks away, Grace comes over]

GRACE: This whole thing truly could’ve been an email.

HOLLIS: I’ve thought the same thing.

GRACE: Why is Wil skulking around you?

HOLLIS: She just wanted to know why you’re here. Oh god, here comes Abigail. Hello Abigail.

NOONWRAITH: Hello. The blood doth give and the blood doth take. On this night, blood must spill.

HOLLIS: I think what Abigail is saying is that the appetizers are subpar.

GRACE: [pause] I agree. I think we need to take another look at the terroir of the blood we’re serving.

NOONWRAITH: I will attend to another! [SFX: dissolves away]

HOLLIS: I hate noonwraiths.

GRACE: [SFX: phone buzzes] Ah, Bea is texting. [sigh] [SFX: texting]

HOLLIS: Why do you like her?

GRACE: [SFX: stops texting] Why does anyone like anyone?

HOLLIS: No, you’re holding back. Younger Grace would’ve run or stormed into that office and lost it on him. Why are you relenting?

GRACE: Because I don’t want this to blow back onto Bea.

HOLLIS: Well it will. Why are you fixated on her?

GRACE: It’s not fixating, I… I love her.

HOLLIS: Why?

GRACE: I… I spent time with her. Watched her from across the office. Listened to her speak on things she was… excited about. I got to understand her. She’s… she’s beautiful, and she’s strong, and she’s… a soft place to land. I want nothing more than to give her a world that is good and kind. I want to… be close to her.

HOLLIS: You sound just like Lennox.

GRACE: I do not! In no way-

HOLLIS: “I watch her”, you guys are creepy.

GRACE: Love and obsession are two different things. I love Bea, but I… I could let her go if I had to.

HOLLIS: I would love to believe that.

GRACE: I’m not like him, I’m nothing like him. You shouldn’t even suggest that!

HOLLIS: Maybe it’s nurture over nature.

GRACE: You’re the one who stuck by him. I should be watching my back.

HOLLIS: I don’t need a soft place to land. I need revenge. The only one who’s falling is him, as far as I’m concerned. Speaking of. [SFX: Lennox walks over]

LENNOX: Grace, glad to see you.

GRACE: Lennox.

LENNOX: Don’t want to say it back?

GRACE: Well, I’m going to smile so people watching aren’t aware but no, I don’t share the sentiment at all.

LENNOX: If you’re going to come here for the first time in years, I’d expect a little more fun.

GRACE: This is entirely because I haven’t fully separated myself from this place. But, you invited me. And also, you’ve been poking around in Bea’s brain.

LENNOX: Ah, she told you. Shame. I knew it would eat at you.

GRACE: Leave her alone.

LENNOX: And what a shock it is to see you two gabbing. Have you and Hollis reconciled? Has hell frozen over?

GRACE: If there’s a hell, I’ll be seeing you there.

HOLLIS: Don’t you want to see your wee babes back together?

LENNOX: Your tone as of late is deeply upsetting.

HOLLIS: Oh no.

LENNOX: Hm. Grace, can I speak to you? Hollis, excuse us. [SFX: they walk away]

WILHELMINA: [SFX: walks over, quietly] Should I?

HOLLIS: Wouldn’t hurt. You can still turn invisible, right?

WILHELMINA: [SFX: magic] Can you see me now?

HOLLIS: That’s creepy. I love it. I’m going to get another lowball. You enjoy yourself. [SFX: footsteps away]

HOLLIS_NARRATION: The best part of two vampires getting together is that they’re messy. Obsession plus anger means a sloppiness that echoes on for decades. And nothing is messier than a vampire who can’t get what he wants and one who can’t get what she needs… [SFX: slight transition, a quiet hallway outside the main hall]

LENNOX: Why are you here?

GRACE: I can’t take an interest in the place I helped build?

LENNOX: As much as I love seeing you in person, the sight of you and Hollis together and speaking? Now that sets off alarm bells in my head. I’m asking you politely, what do you want?

GRACE: Same as always, I want you to leave me alone.

LENNOX: I will press if I have to.

GRACE: In front of the board? How gauche.

LENNOX: You think I won’t tell them that you can be the saviour for all their problems?

GRACE: Shh!

LENNOX: Your blood is too valuable to keep to myself, I know that. I don’t want to share, but…

GRACE: Then don’t.

LENNOX: In due time. Hollis better not be getting in my way though, I’d hate to pit you two against each other again.

GRACE: Just leave Hollis out of it, ok?

LENNOX: You can always come back.

GRACE: You know I would never.

LENNOX: Just make one more vampire…

GRACE: No! I’m not making ANYTHING-

LENNOX: As long as I have your secret, you’re mine.

WILHELMINA: [SFX: magic, walking over] Well, it makes sense why you didn’t tell us, then.

GRACE: Oh no…

LENNOX: [tightly] Wil, how long have you been here?

WILHELMINA: Did I overhear what I thought I overheard, Lennox?

LENNOX: I…

GRACE: Well you see, Wil-

WILHELMINA: Grace, no, this is perfect, you… you can help. You can-

GRACE: I don’t think-

LENNOX: She’s going to-

GRACE: I never-

LENNOX: Grace-

GRACE: Lennox!

WILHELMINA: It sounds like you two have some things you should talk about.

LENNOX: We do. Grace is going to-

GRACE: Lenny is-

LENNOX: She is considering returning. Her gift is one that’s too valuable to… be tossed around on the whims of the world.

GRACE: Well, I really don’t think-

WILHELMINA: Well, she sounds thrilled. Grace, I know things have been tense in the past, but I’m sure everyone will welcome you back with open arms.

GRACE: It’s a misunderstanding.

WILHELMINA: Oh, I’m sure it is. I’m sure we’ll all love hearing why Lennox didn’t enlighten us about it. All a… simple misunderstanding.

LENNOX: [sigh] Please leave. … now.

WILHELMINA: Thank you. I’m sure we’ll have much to talk about.

 

[SFX: transition. Bea’s apartment. They’re watching a movie]

 

BEA: So Alden’s still in Mexico?

RHYS: Yeah, he’s working remotely.

BEA: I guess it’s his business. Still though.

RHYS: Total dick move.

BEA: Yeah. Cute that you’re hanging out with Aurelius. He’s always been very nice to me.

RHYS: You should join us next week, we’re going to do a pottery class!

BEA: Yeah. I could use something fun.

RHYS: That’s not sex or work?

BEA: Exactly. I don’t know. I hope Grace is having a good time. I’m sure it’s… boring at the meeting thingy. As it always is.

[SFX: transition. Wilhelmina approaches Hollis, outside smoking]

 

WILHELMINA: Can I use your lighter?

HOLLIS: Yep. [SFX: hands it over, Wil lights up and takes a drag]

WILHELMINA: How long has he known?

HOLLIS: A lot longer than you’d think.

WILHELMINA: Ah. I assume he had a metaphorical gun to your head over that?

HOLLIS: Yep.

WILHELMINA: You could’ve told us. [Hollis gives them a long look] [sigh] Yes, I am aware that he would’ve skinned you alive.

HOLLIS: I would’ve told you ages ago if not.

WILHELMINA: That idiot. Always willing to throw everything away for his sweet Grace. Do you think he would’ve ever told us?

HOLLIS: Someday, when she stopped appealing to him.

WILHELMINA: We’ve all been long dead by then.

HOLLIS: Sentimentality runs deep.

WILHELMINA: Don’t tell him that.

HOLLIS: So what do you want?

WILHELMINA: I want that idiot out. And I want Grace kept under observation so she doesn’t run.

HOLLIS: Careful of her girlfriend.

WILHELMINA: Human?

HOLLIS: Vampire.

WILHELMINA: Huh. That’s unexpected.

HOLLIS: She won’t leave without her.

WILHELMINA: I’d expect nothing less from a progeny of Lennox’s.

HOLLIS: He’s got his eye on her right now.

WILHELMINA: Good. Keep it there. You’ve got some work to do. Do you need anything else?

HOLLIS: I want to call a board meeting sooner rather than later. Also, just start talking to the others.

WILHELMINA: They might be a tough sell. Lennox is still a force.

HOLLIS: That’s fine. I have backups if need be.

 

[SFX: transition. Office. The door slams as Grace storms in, Lennox behind her]

 

GRACE: Fuck.

LENNOX: Language.

GRACE: Don’t you fucking tell me what to do!

LENNOX: They know. A wrinkle, if there ever was one.

GRACE: Fuck. FUCK.

LENNOX: Shh, I’m sorry, this must be… very tough for you.

GRACE: I should’ve never come here. FUCK.

LENNOX: Language!

GRACE: Shut up! I have to go, I can’t be here-

LENNOX: Grace, you cannot run. They will only find you. I will find you.

GRACE: I know what you did to Hollis, don’t you fucking dare-

LENNOX: I will if you make me. Grace, please just come back. I can only offer you safety so many times-

GRACE: I’m done with this place. I’m done with you! If I ever see you again-

LENNOX: Grace-

GRACE: DO NOT CONTACT ME. Do not contact Bea. I am going to figure this out. But we are not becoming your blood bags.

LENNOX: Get back here!

GRACE: You absolute piece of SHIT, Lennox! You are the worst thing that has EVER happened to me! You continue to taint my life like some sort of endless bleeding stain and I no longer want to even think about you! I HATE you.

LENNOX: Please be calm.

GRACE: I hate you, Lennox Marlowe. I hope you fucking rot. {SFX: door slams]

 

[SFX: transition. Graveyard. A wheelbarrow squeaks over]

 

HOLLIS_NARRATION: Bodies are needed. I need bodies. And there are more people who are willing to volunteer…

HOLLIS: How many corpses is that?

MICHAEL: [SFX: wheelbarrow] Uh, I think it’s enough for now. It’s hard to push these.

HOLLIS: Never thought I’d appreciate the necropolis more than I do now.

MICHAEL: How fresh do these need to be?

HOLLIS: Fresher than that. That is nasty.

MICHAEL: [sigh] Alright. Did that request for a raise clear?

HOLLIS: I’ll look into it. Get digging. We have some work to do.

HOLLIS_NARRATION: I stayed with Lennox because it was all I knew. From the day I was turned to now. A home, whatever that means. Grace left. She never had to face the rest of that world. But I was still there. A cage with the door closing. If there’s at least one thing getting me through, it’s that I know where to hit him where it hurts.

 

[end]

Credits

Featuring the voices of:

Emily Kellogg as Grace
Alex Nursall as Bea
Ian Boddy as Rhys
Rob Deobald as Lennox
J Strautman as Hollis
Vanya Drakul as Bob Dracula
Taylor Davis as Aurelius
Adil Lakhani as The Maestro
Kat Letwin as Wilhelmina
Shaun Oldfield as Michael
and B Marsollier as the Hacker

Woodbine is an original podcast created, written, and produced by Alex Nursall and Emily
This episode was written and directed by Alex Nursall
Production and promotion by Emily Kellogg
Engineering and sound design by Ian Boddy
Theme by Phil Wright
Music by Phil Wright and Ian Boddy
Recorded at Pirate Sound
Artwork by Andy Kelly
Distributed by Realm