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09: HEMLOCK

Summary

Sometimes you have to turn to an old friend for some help. The life experience that comes with age can give a lot of insight into all kinds of situations. And when that person is ageless? Well, then you can expect some truly sage advice. For Grace and Bea, Lennox’s shadow grows ever longer, Hollis continues to insert themselves wherever they want, and the night stretches out beyond them endlessly. Meanwhile, Rhys is somewhere nearby, looking at Hawaiian shirts on his phone.

Content Warnings: alcohol, violence, death

Transcript

[SFX: The light noise of a tiki bar in the background]

GRACE_NARRATION: We need help. 

BEA: Are you sure he’s coming?

GRACE: Yes, he’s… dependable.

GRACE_NARRATION: Something is wrong.

RHYS: Did you pick this place or did he?

GRACE: He did.

RHYS: Alright then. 

GRACE_NARRATION: I’m growing more and more aware of a shadow looming over the community. There’s not a lot that can hurt the undead. But more and more of us are disappearing, getting hurt, leaving the city altogether for safer places. I need to talk to someone. I need to understand. [SFX: a server drops off some drinks]

BEA: Who ordered the pina colada? 

RHYS: That’s me. 

GRACE_NARRATION: But I have to admit that I didn’t expect my search for answers to lead me to a tiki bar.  

BEA: Do you see him?

GRACE: Not yet, but we’re early. And he’s… timely.

RHYS: Is he like… visiting Toronto?

GRACE: No, he has a place here. 

RHYS/BEA: Why?

GRACE: Pays to have somewhere to go in every major city. Let’s you… stretch your legs.

RHYS: Stretch your wings, more like it. 

GRACE: Shh, don’t make any vampire jokes. 

RHYS: Let me get it out of my system now. [fake vampire accent] Ha ha, my dear, I vant to suck your blood!

BEA: You’d be a terrible vampire.

RHYS: How can you say that when I’m only impersonating the vampire to end all vampires?

BOB: It’s true, I used to have quite the reputation. 

RHYS: Jesus Christ!

BOB: You know, the religion thing does not bother me as much these days. But back then, ah! It was… unpleasant. 

GRACE: Ah, exactly on time. Thank you so much for coming.

BOB: Oh, it is my pleasure. It’s been quite a long time.

GRACE: I know, too long. I came with some friends who are working alongside me these days, this is Bea.

BEA: Hello.

BOB: Charmed.

GRACE: And Rhys.

RHYS: Uh… hi?

BOB: Ah, you didn’t tell me you brought hors d’oeuvres! Hah, I am just kidding! A friend of Grace is a friend of mine. Friend, not food. 

RHYS: I wish people would stop calling me food. 

GRACE: And this is… well, let’s just rip this band-aid off, shall we? Meet Count Dracula. Are you still going by Vlad?

BOB: Oh no, I found that name has been causing problems for the last while. Plus, you know, issues with copyright in the past. No, for the past few years, I have found a new name that allows me to live quietly. A name that gives me much more… peace. 

BEA: And that is?

BOB: You may call me… Bob. 

RHYS: Bob Dracula.

BOB: It flows nicely, no?

RHYS: It’s definitely a change.

GRACE: I ordered you a drink. [SFX: slides drink across the table] 

BOB: Ah, strawberry margarita! You knew!

GRACE: You were always a sucker for a decorative umbrella. 

BOB: The invention of the blender, truly humans are a brilliant species. 

GRACE: Well, cheers to old friends. [SFX: they clink glasses]

BOB: Old. Ah, sometimes I start to feel that word in my bones.

BEA: Is it weird if I ask you how old you are?

GRACE: Don’t be rude. 

BOB: No, no! It’s fine. There are so many… rumours about me that it is nice when someone asks for the truth. One can only shroud themselves in secrets and misdirections for so long until… well, shrouds fray. The light comes through. Lies turn to ash, as we all do. 

BEA: So you’re like… 29?

BOB: My dear, I am 593 years old. 

BEA: Damn.

BOB: It’s been a delightful run! Some ups, some downs. The 70s were both fun and very hazy – 1670s, 1870s, and 1970s… But, oh, how I remember the early 1800s, I was in Spain at the time. Grace, did I ever tell you about this? I was spending some time at my friend Francisco’s villa, and his art, ah, the brutality he could portray-

BEA: Are you talking about Francisco Goya?

BOB: Yes, I believe people of your age might know him through… me-mes.

BEA: Memes. 

BOB: Yes, Saturn Devouring His Son, my nephew-

BEA: You have nephews?

BOB: I have many things. He shows me pictures from the internet. I use it when I need to, but I do not find it very entertaining. 

BEA: I have a thousand questions for you.

GRACE: I’m sure you do, but we have a more immediate problem. I need to talk to you, Bob.

BOB: Yes, yes, of course. There is danger in the air. And it’s not us! Very curious.

GRACE: There have been… attacks on other members of the community. Of all species. Someone attacked my friend here. 

BOB: Interesting. Before or after your transformation?

BEA: Before. It was the… inciting incident. 

BOB: Hah! It’s been quite a while since I’ve met a new vampire. How does it feel? Do you hear the music of the night?

BEA: Is that the same thing the boogeyman hears?

BOB: Ah, you met Argus! 

GRACE: Yes, well, the question at hand, please?

BOB: The attacks. Stories travel fast. Rumours faster still, but stories of shapes darker than shadow that hunt us… it has been many many years since I have had to look over my shoulder. Normally, my mind would go to fire, pitchforks, angry mobs on a doorstep looking for blood, and yet… here we are, a hidebehind attacking other monsters? A revenant contracted to kill a human? Confusing. Attacks like this are something I associate with… wilder times. When things were feral. We are not feral anymore.

GRACE: Feral? Perhaps not… I sense a pattern in these attacks. A purpose. 

BOB: Why attack vampires? Top of the food chain, top of the ladder. You want to push them off? That is not something one takes on in a foolhardy way. That is, indeed, with purpose, my friend. 

BEA: Ok, other vampires, there might be some sort of power struggle. Other beings, who knows. But… other humans aren’t being attacked. Only me. 

BOB: Who have you been looking at? What culprits lurk in the shadows? 

GRACE: Lennox, mostly. 

BOB: Now there is a name I have not heard you say in a while. 

GRACE: He’s not so easily ignored.

BOB: I assume he is aware of what has been happening?

GRACE: Yes, he’s made his awareness clear. As for his involvement? Well, you know Lennox. He obfuscates his obfuscations in enigma. 

BOB: What makes you think he’s involved? 

GRACE: He… started contacting me again immediately after Bea was attacked. I hadn’t seen him in so long and now… it feels like he’s everywhere. A revenant attacks Bea. That’s not a cheap hire – only a few could afford the price. Lennox has the means. He has the contacts. And he has power. So much power. And yet… I can’t understand why. 

BOB: What is Bea to you?

BEA: Huh?

GRACE: What?

BOB: You’re looking at this like a detective. Clues. Mystery. Suspects. Look at it from a more… holistic perspective. Why would Lennox want Bea away from you? She’s got nothing he wants. Why remove her?

GRACE: She’s… she’s my friend. 

BOB: And what has Lennox thought about you having friends in the past? 

GRACE_NARRATION: Lennox has never been one to share. He’s never been one to forgive or forget, either. 

GRACE: Fuck. 

BOB: I know. I do not like to think this way. But… after what I have heard and what I have had to think about, all possibilities must be considered. 

RHYS: What about the other attacks? What reason would Lennox have to be doing that? 

BOB: Attacking Bea is one thing. The others… whoever is doing this, there is… power behind them. 

RHYS: … is it you?

GRACE: Rhys!

BOB: Ha ha! Could you imagine? No, I give myself way more credit than that. I have done some… questionable things in my past, for lack of a better word, but I have lived. I have learned. In this day and age? I would never hurt those around me.

RHYS: Would you ever kill other vampires? 

BOB: I have. There are reasons a vampire would kill another. Not many. But they exist. 

GRACE_NARRATION: I can feel Bea’s eyes on me. She has questions. She wants answers I have not given.

GRACE: That’s something we can discuss in private. In the meantime, Bea, please stop drilling a hole in my head with your gaze. 

BEA: I’m not.

RHYS: You kind of are. 

GRACE: We will talk about it later. 

RHYS: We still have a revenant named Vander out there trying to kill you.

BOB: Ah! Vander Pump. Old. Angry. I did not think he was still around.

BEA: Vander Pump? Is that actually his real name?

BOB: It was a name he found somewhere along the way, I don’t know.

GRACE: Can we stop him?

BOB: No.

BEA: Can we reason with him? 

BOB: No.

RHYS: Does he just need a hug? 

BOB: I do not believe so. His word is his bond. No more, no less. 

BEA: Bet he loved seeing me alive. Or… undead. Whatever. 

BOB: It will have thrown him for a loop. But he’s… predictable. We used to occasionally meet. He loved going for tea on Sunday mornings, like clockwork. [SFX: server walks over]

SERVER: Hey, sorry, I’m actually off shift soon, are you ok to settle up?

BOB: I think this should be… on the house.

SERVER: Hey guys, this is on the house.

BEA: No no no, we’re paying. 

BOB: You know my dear, you’ll never stay financially sound if you spend all your money. How do you think I made it this far?

GRACE: I know, in this economy especially, but Bob, this is a local establishment. Save it for Loblaws.

BOB: Ah, fine. I can pay for this outing as it sounds like you have… many things on your mind. Please, take this money. And… a tip.

SERVER: Oh, uh, thanks.

BOB: Grace, my dear, I hope for your sake and for the sake of all of us that you are able to find what is doing these… foul things. 

RHYS: Never thought I’d see Dracula express fear.

BOB: Alas, nothing living – both born of the sun and rendered from darkness –  can truly escape pain, disaster, fear, death. Perhaps someday I will reach into the void and accept the darkness, but for now… I still find such joy in moonlight. I do not want to be sent away too soon. 

GRACE: No one does.

BOB: To be ageless is to witness death and birth over and over and over again. It is a gift! It is a wound that never closes. But it brings me sorrow to think that someone is bringing harm to us, to our friends, to our community. 

BEA: Bob, can… I ask you a question? It might be a little intimate.

BOB: Please, go ahead. It has been quite a while since I have had to answer something… difficult. 

BEA: Do you remember what it was like to be human?

BOB: Ah ha, an insightful question from a most insightful young vampire. Grace, my dear, I see why your eyes drift so often to hers. In my earliest days, when the sun became like sandpaper and the moon was my only light, there was such fear, such rage. Under stars I would scream out and cry, furious at a body that no longer worked in a way that I understood. I tore at my flesh as I tore at the flesh of others, ravenous, furious, terrified. I would dream of my life before the Change, try to grasp at what tiny pieces still shivered in the corners of my mind. But time is cruel. And to survive, I had to be cruel too. And what I once was… became a memory, then a dream, then a mystery, and then just forgotten. It has been many, many years, my sweet Bea. To survive, you can only look back so much. Then… you must look forward. You are young, so young. I do not remember the man I once was. But I do understand why you long for that piece of yourself to be whole once again. But you will find your way, not by focusing on what is behind you, but by letting your eyes adjust to the dark. 

GRACE: Bea. Bea! You there?

BEA: [shaking it off] Huh, wow. You are… entrancing.

BOB: [SFX: he slaps his knee] Still got it!

BEA: Hello? Rhys? You there? I think Rhys is completely zonked. RHYS.

RHYS: Ahh! What’s going on? 

BOB: Yes, right. Human in proximity. Oops. 

RHYS: Did I doze off?

BOB: [SFX: you can hear a phone buzzing on the bar, on silent] Grace, it appears your phone is lighting up.

GRACE: Ah, right. [SFX: she checks it] Ugh. 

RHYS: Who is it?

GRACE: Lennox. Again. 

BEA: Why is he calling?

GRACE: I may have left a spirited voicemail after the incident at the comedy club. [SFX: she silences it] I’ll deal with that in a bit. When I’m ready. Thank you, Bob, for meeting with us. 

BOB: Please, call on me whenever you might need help. I will not be around in person soon, but my phone, it is always on my hip.

BEA: Where are you going?

BOB: I will be heading south for a bit. The winter creeps in there, things are quiet. Safer, it sounds like. In a sense, I am what you might call a… snow bird.

RHYS: Snow bat.

BOB: Oooh! I like that! I’ll write that one down.

GRACE: Do you two have any other questions? 

RHYS: Yes, where does one get a black and white Hawaiian shirt with bats instead of birds? Because that is sick. 

BOB: Custom order, my friend.

RHYS: Damn.

BOB: I will let you know next time me and the boys speak to our designer.

BEA: Wait, who are the boys?

BOB: Oh you know, The Wolfman, The Invisible Man, the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

RHYS: Wow, really?

BOB: No, it is just a bunch of retirees that I hang out with now. I’m surprised you’d think something so reductive.

RHYS: Right, right… my mistake. 

BOB: However, Wolfman and I, we play whist on weekends. 

RHYS: I don’t think anything will ever surprise me again.

 

[SFX: transition. Living room at Grace’s]

GRACE_NARRATION: Bob – I’ll admit, it feels a little weird to call him that, although this is a lot better than when I first met him and he was trying out the name Zachary for some reason – anyway, he didn’t exactly put my mind at ease. I didn’t expect him to, but… I feel less like I’m losing my mind, now. I have been coming back over and over again to why Lennox is involved in this. Why would he hurt Bea? And I think I know the answer. Maybe I’ve known it the entire time. Maybe I just don’t want to think about it, because it’s… too much. 

There is a dream I have that he does not walk in, and yet he is still there. 

In the dream, I am standing, standing over Vivian. My first fledgling. My best friend. My light. There is a torch in my hand. 

She begs and begs and begs and I can’t, I can’t look away. My hand is frozen. Lennox grips me from behind me so tightly that I can feel my collarbone start to scream from the pressure. But his voice is still cool, smooth, calm. His nails bite into me and I can feel blood pour down my chest but I can’t react, all I can do is stare at the battered face of Vivian as she screams and begs and pleads for me to stop, stop doing this, she wants me to walk away. I do not want to do this, I want to grab her and hold her in my arms and flee and never look back, but I can’t, I can’t. Lennox’s grip snaps my collarbone, but I am frozen. I can’t even react to the pain that now rips through my body like a thousand needles. Her voice tears through me though, and that is the true pain I feel in this moment. 

But her voice is… wrong. It’s not hers. I still hear it in my head, I dream of it, and it isn’t this. 

The voice I hear is Bea’s, pouring out from Vivian’s mouth. 

Lennox’s hand tears through my flesh and I can feel bones splinter. The heat of the fire is coming closer and closer to my hand as I watch it move towards Vivian, screaming in Bea’s voice to stop stop stop stop stop. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. 

VIVIAN/BEA: Grace, please, please no!

LENNOX: It was inevitable. Destroy her.

VIVIAN/BEA: No!

GRACE: I don’t want to! I can’t, I can’t!

LENNOX: You made this choice, now you must suffer for it. 

VIVIAN/BEA: Grace!

LENNOX: My dear, my sweet, know that I would do the same to you. And it would hurt me just as much as this hurts you right now. It is so hard for me to see you like this, to have you do this. But that is what must happen, therefore I tell you now, Grace, destroy her. Now. Do it. 

VIVIAN/BEA: NO-

GRACE: I DON’T WANT TO

LENNOX: DO IT. [SFX: Grace, panicking, sets Vivian ablaze]

GRACE: I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY

I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS

I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS

I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS

[SFX: the dream ends violently, slamming from the noise back into the real world. Grace awakes with a start, panicking and thrashing around in bed. She catches herself and takes a shaky breath]

GRACE_NARRATION: In the cool darkness, I find myself reaching out in bed as if I am checking to see if Bea is there, safe. I know she isn’t here, she has never been here, but that instinct, the fact that my hands search the sheets as if I should find her body beside mine…

I can still feel a part of Vivian inside of me, that burns and burns. Want, need. To want and to know what others want. To want endlessly. To be destroyed by it. 

The dream is old but the fear is new. 

 

[SFX: transition. Phone message]

LENNOX: Hello Grace. I hope your evening is going well. I would ask that you please call me back. I know you’re looking for answers. I would like to come clean about some of the things you’ve been asking about. I would request that you respond quickly. My time is very limited these days. Don’t make me reach out the old fashioned way. I know you don’t like me being in your head. Have a good night. 

 

[SFX: transition. The office, working away]

BEA: Rhys?

RHYS: Yeah?

BEA: You got that invoice for the gorgon case?

RHYS: Uh, somewhere. Is that the one where they’re trying to avoid child support by turning their ex into a statue?

BEA: No, that one is still on-going, this is the one where they’re doing cheque fraud. 

RHYS: Oh, yeah. I’ll email that to you.

BEA: Thanks. [SFX: typing]

RHYS: Bea, can I ask you something?

BEA: I don’t see why not.

RHYS: It’s… uh… maybe a little personal. 

BEA: I want you to take a moment to remember your HR training.

RHYS: I recall that we did not have HR training.

BEA: No we did not, but imagine what it would be like if we had.

RHYS: Ok, this is going to sound weird, but… so if you bite someone, it doesn’t automatically turn them, correct?

BEA: Correct.

RHYS: And you don’t have to kill them to feed.

BEA: What are you asking, Rhys?

RHYS: I want to know what it feels like. 

BEA: You-… wow, ok, you could ask me out for dinner first.

RHYS: I mean, in a sense I am. 

BEA: It’s not a joke!

RHYS: And I’m not joking! Vampire media makes it look… interesting.

BEA: It makes it look horny

RHYS: Now who’s being crass?

BEA: What are you, trying to find a replacement for an old addiction?

RHYS: No, this doesn’t replace Warcraft. Believe me, I’ve tried, but I’m never getting those years back. 

BEA: Why don’t you ask Grace?

RHYS: Grace is my boss!

BEA: And I am your superior as well!

RHYS: Yeah, but like, a lot less…

BEA: Old? 

RHYS: I was going to go with “unnerving” but yeah, I assumed Grace was like, 200 or something secretly. 

BEA: Why do you want this, Rhys?

RHYS: It just… it just sounds so cool, being a vampire. Like I know there are issues, I know that it’s not all moonlight and roses, but… I dunno, I was digging around trying to see if I could find any info on the community that wasn’t either obviously fake or completely over the top and… uh…

BEA: You found out about the blood bars, didn’t you?

RHYS: Sounds interesting is all I’m saying.

BEA: Then go there yourself. 

RHYS: You can’t just walk in as a regular human, it’s like an exclusive club, you need a referral. Besides, I think… it would be weirder if my… first time… was with a stranger. 

BEA: Rhys-

RHYS: I know you’re going there tonight! I overheard you and Grace talking about it. 

BEA: And you want to be, what, my date?

RHYS: Think of this as me asking you out for dinner.

BEA: You’re asking to be dinner. 

RHYS: Could be fun.

GRACE: [from the otherroom] Are either of you going to get me that file? Do I need to summon a familiar to do the admin work around here? 

BEA: I’ll think about it, Rhys. But don’t push your luck. 

 

[SFX: transition. A quiet bar at night]

GRACE_NARRATION: Bea’s been compulsively checking over her shoulder ever since we ran into Vander at the comedy club. She’s restless. She feeds but I can see her starting to be more and more… uninterested in drinking from bags. It’s as though her body subconsciously knows that it needs to become strong. It craves warmth

GRACE: [phone] I’ll be there shortly. 

BEA: Where did you park? Etobicoke?

GRACE: [phone] I forgot the parking lot was under construction. Just save me a seat, I think I’ve found somewhere I can jam my car. [SFX: honk] Ah, shoot. Alright, order me a martini. I’ll see you in a bit, bye. [SFX: hangs up]

BEA: Bye. [SFX: puts phone down]

HOLLIS: Is your date late?

BEA: Hello Hollis. 

HOLLIS: How’s it going? Glad to see you made it out of the hotel.

BEA: Yeah, no thanks to you.

HOLLIS: I’m not a charity. 

BEA: Are you following me or something?

HOLLIS: Yeah. 

BEA: I did not expect such a frank answer.

HOLLIS: Would you have preferred I lied?

BEA: No, but I would’ve expected it. 

HOLLIS: No point in lying. Creative omission is one thing, but why lie? 

BEA: Ok, no lies, I like that. Hey, who hired that guy to kill me?

HOLLIS: I don’t feel like telling you that. 

BEA: Come on. 

HOLLIS: I said I wouldn’t lie. I didn’t say I would tell you everything you wanted to know.

BEA: Asshole.

HOLLIS: Tell me about your new assistant. He seems fun. And kind of hot. 

BEA: No. I don’t have to tell you stuff either.

HOLLIS: He’s headstrong, right? Little bit dumb, but that’s worked in your favour so far. He’s someone who could take a tumble and survive. That’s fun. I like someone you can throw around. 

BEA: And how do you know this? 

HOLLIS: Word gets around. 

BEA: No, tell me. How do you know that? Did Grace tell you? Has she been meeting with you as well?

HOLLIS: Grace wouldn’t tell me the weather if she was next to an open window. 

BEA: Right. Do any vampires get along?

HOLLIS: In the right circumstances. When it makes sense. 

BEA: Hm. I have another question.

HOLLIS: You do? That’s nice. And I assume you think I would answer this one?

BEA: Worth a try. What do you want?

HOLLIS: Maybe I just wanted a drink and a snack. 

BEA: You know Grace. You definitely know Lennox. You’re following me around. What’s your deal?

HOLLIS: It’s been so long since I’ve seen a new face around these parts, and I’m thinking to myself, huh! How weird it is that Grace, sweet prissy Grace, has created a new vampire all by herself. She was always very prudish about that back when we were all a little family. But Lennox let her get away with that. She always got her way. You always save your tenderness for the ones you brought up with you. 

BEA: I thought she had created someone. 

HOLLIS: Oh, she did. And she never did again. Until you. 

BEA: Well, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you once she arrives.

HOLLIS: I don’t plan to stick around that long. I have my own things to deal with. Besides, it doesn’t serve a vampire well to get in another vampires’ bad books. Great way to be… taken advantage of. 

BEA: That meaning…

HOLLIS: You should answer fewer questions, really.  

BEA: Oh, but you don’t care about my bad books? Actually, you know what? Don’t answer that. Ok, well if you’re not going to help me and you didn’t help me before and you’re not going to talk to her, then I feel like this conversation is over. 

HOLLIS: Why are you here?

BEA: I just wanted a drink and a snack. 

HOLLIS: You’re lying

BEA: Why else would I be here? 

HOLLIS: Snack, snack! Corn nuts? Beer cheese? That’s no good, no good at all. Have you fed on a living body yet? Oh, it’s wonderful. Has Grace told you that?

BEA: She mentioned it in passing.

HOLLIS: So she didn’t then. Well, she probably doesn’t want you to realise how good it feels. It’s too hard to control a new vampire. They’re… ravenous, like horny teenagers. No sense of mortality. No sense of limits. Just pure id. 

BEA: Are you offering?

HOLLIS: Oh, vampire on vampire, very hot. But no. Maybe some other time, but… Grace never liked me touching her stuff.

BEA: I have a name, you know. And feelings.

HOLLIS: I know. And I don’t care. I’d recommend getting in there though, putting a body on the board. It might help you settle in a bit more. Stop pretending like you still feel the sun. Start to enjoy the darkness

BEA: Grace is coming up the sidewalk.

HOLLIS: Then that’s my cue to leave. Good luck, Bea. Hope you find a snack you enjoy. [SFX: claps her on the back and leaves]

GRACE: Hey. Sorry for the delay-… what’s wrong?

BEA: Did you see Hollis?

GRACE: What? They’re here?

BEA: They were. We just had a little conversation. 

GRACE: About what?

BEA: They’re trying to push my buttons. It’s working, I think. 

GRACE: Bea…

BEA: Did you guys have a thing?

GRACE: Hollis? No! No no no. Like I told you, we were both created by Lennox so we spent a lot of time together in our earlier days but… no, there were a lot of things we never really saw eye-to-eye on.

BEA: And now?

GRACE: I think they were glad when I set off on my own. Not because they particularly wanted Lennox to themselves or anything, but I was just one less person telling them no. Don’t kill that guy, don’t burn down that village, don’t blow up that car.

BEA: What?

GRACE: It was a weird time! 

BEA: Clearly! But they said there’s no benefit in getting in your bad books, so…

GRACE: They don’t make enemies when they don’t have to. It doesn’t pay.

BEA: Alright, but why? Bob alluded to something about that. So tell me: Why would a vampire want to kill another vampire?

GRACE: Bea, do you think you could ever kill me?

BEA: No? Are… you planning to ask me to do that?

GRACE: No, but if you did, it would benefit you.

BEA: Am I in your will?

GRACE: That’s between me and my lawyer.  

BEA: I’m not planning to murder you for your blood stores or whatever. 

GRACE: Can I take your hand? 

BEA: You may. [SFX: Grace takes her hand]

GRACE_NARRATION: The now familiar tingling feeling pours down my arm and into my shoulders, neck, spine. She’s warm. For a horrible moment, I dream the dreams of burning. And then… gone. Just a delicate smooth warmth from her hand. She has trusted me this far. I’m not sure if I’ve earned it. 

GRACE: Within us, we carry abilities. Passed from creator to fledgling. A piece of me lives within you now. You can see… pain. It isn’t a gift I’d have chosen for you, but… it comes from me. And I know you can handle it. I give to you what is within me, willingly. But… if you kill another, you can take from them. A vampire’s blood overwhelms a human. In the transformation, you only need a comparatively small amount to create another. It’s ink in water, all you need is a little to completely lose all translucency. But vampire to vampire… you need it all. To gain the abilities of another, you must feed, and that requires not just a gift but death, death unending. You cannot take what is theirs without destroying them. You must feed on them until they are a husk. Their power becomes yours, but at a cost. So… if you killed me and fed, you would gain whatever I have.

BEA: Ok, but like… I’m sorry Grace, but from what you’ve told me, your abilities aren’t worth murdering you over. 

GRACE: No, but other powers might be. Lennox… he’s powerful in many ways because he has to be. He walks in dreams. For someone with few scruples, wouldn’t that be a skill worth taking? 

BEA: I guess. Why are you telling me this? This feels like something… you’d never want to say to another vampire.

GRACE: Because I can. Because I know that you won’t. Because in the hands of a lesser vampire, this knowledge is dangerous. But I know that you are worthy of it. And I want you by my side – not alone in the dark.   

BEA: I get the feeling that Hollis would not agree with you.

GRACE: Hollis wouldn’t agree with me if I told her a lit candle shed light. 

BEA: Ah, shoot. I didn’t order you that martini. 

GRACE: That’s fine. We have plenty of time. Are you hungry?

BEA: Yeah. Yeah. … Grace, what is it like to feed? 

GRACE: On a human? 

BEA: Yes. Honest answer, please.

GRACE: It is… enjoyable. Pleasurable. That’s part of the reason that it’s so dangerous for new vampires. It’s hard to stop. It’s not just the hunger, it’s the delight. You don’t want the feeling to stop. And you end up killing them. So many vampires kill their first feed. I did. It felt… awful in the aftermath. I don’t want that for you. I want to spare you.

BEA: How do you know when to stop?

GRACE: When you think you are done but the Hunger says, oh, just a little bit more. Identify and then dismiss that voice. That voice will cause you to drain the life out of whoever you feed on. It’s about understanding your own needs. Self understanding and acceptance is what will allow you to achieve control. 

BEA: I worry I would hurt someone.

GRACE: Listen to yourself. Your true self; not your hunger. Desire is intoxicating, but your true self will not lead you astray. 

 

[SFX: transition. Phone message]

LENNOX: Hello Grace. Thank you for getting back to me. Looks like my schedule has some openings and I feel like this is a discussion we should have in person. Meet me at my office tomorrow night. Please bring Bea as well. It would be in her best interest to get any answers from the horse’s mouth. I’ll be waiting. Have a good night.

 

[SFX: transition. Office. Bea is tapping a pencil on the desk]

RHYS: That’s very annoying.

BEA: [SFX: she stops] Sorry. [SFX: she starts again] 

RHYS: You got restless leg syndrome or something?

BEA: No. 

RHYS: Alright. When’s Grace back?

BEA: Tomorrow, I’m covering tonight. 

RHYS: Right, right. I need her to approve this. But it’ll have to wait. [SFX: goes back to working]

BEA: Rhys? 

RHYS: Yeah?

BEA: Remember how you’d asked me before if I wanted to grab dinner?

RHYS: … yeah.

BEA: If you’re still open to it, I think I could go for a little something.

RHYS: Yeah, I would be… amenable to that. 

BEA: You sure?

RHYS: I, uh… I’ve probably got too much caffeine in my veins.

BEA: That’s fine.

RHYS: I’m a little sweaty.

BEA: That’s just seasoning. 

RHYS: Is this against HR policies?

BEA: We don’t have an HR department.

RHYS: Right. Wait-

BEA: Hm?

RHYS: Vampires can like… charm you. Are you… doing that right now?

BEA: … I don’t think so. If I wasn’t, would you still want to?

RHYS: Yeah. 

BEA: Great.

RHYS: Does it hurt?

BEA: Do you want it to?

RHYS: A little.

BEA: Good. [SFX: she leans in and stuff happens, I’m not writing that in here, that’s for the fanfic writers]

 

[SFX: transition, we’re in a dreamscape]

BEA: In the dream, I’m in the office. I’m standing over my body. But Grace didn’t save me and Grace isn’t here. But I’m not alone. 

LENNOX: This should’ve been you. This is how your story should have ended.

BEA: That is not your call.

LENNOX: It wasn’t Grace’s either. Yet, here we are. Squandering a gift.

BEA: I didn’t ask for this.

LENNOX: Do you not want it now?

BEA: I don’t know.

LENNOX: I’d like to speak with you. Bring Grace. I think it’s time that we all talk. 

BEA: Is this a trap?

LENNOX: Would it matter if it was? 

BEA: Yes.

LENNOX: You’re curious. You’d still come. You’ve tasted blood. Now you must know more. 

BEA: Did you send someone to kill me?

LENNOX: You’ll have to talk to me in person if you want to know.

BEA: No one told me that being a vampire involved so many fucking mind games.

LENNOX: Embrace it. 

BEA: What do you want?

LENNOX: I want to understand why you’re here. Why do you get to exist when so many others more worthy of such a gift don’t? You shouldn’t be here, and yet… you are.

BEA: Stay out of my head.

LENNOX: You don’t get to make that call. I will do what I please until I get what I want. If you want answers, you have to come get them. Face-to-face. I’ll be waiting, Bea. 

[end]

Illustration of Dracula staring at a piña colada with the text Episode 09: Hemlock.

Credits

Featuring the voices of:

Emily Kellogg as Grace
Alex Nursall as Bea
Ian Boddy as Rhys
Rob Deobald as Lennox
Vanya Drakul as Dracula
J Strautman as Hollis
and Mariella Lopez as the server

Woodbine is an original podcast created, written, and produced by Emily Kellogg and Alex Nursall
Showrunning and direction by Alex Nursall
Production and promotion by Emily Kellogg
Engineering and sound design by Ian Boddy
Theme by Phil Wright
Music by Phil Wright and Ian Boddy
Recorded at Pirate Sound
Artwork by Andy Kelly
Distributed by Realm

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